Author : Steve Singleton
At a recent seminar we were asked to imagine if some football commentators were giving advice to churches about how to increase their attendance. They might suggest the following:
Charge people $5 to $20 for admission.
Replace padded pews with hard, backless benches.
Take off the roof and make the people endure the elements—cold, wind, heat, rain, whatever.
Make the service last more than 3 hours.
Require that they scream and shout every few minutes.
I guess this comparison of worship assemblies with football games is intended to make us feel guilty about our lack of church attendance. But I wonder if this is really a fair comparison. What advantages does the football game have over the typical worship assembly? What accounts for the difference?A football game is always a dramatic conflict. It is always clear which side to root for, who is ahead, and which side has won. In a worship assembly the conflict is there; in fact, it's a much more vital conflict than the clashing line of scrimmage. But this conflict is often hidden. People may be unaware that it even exists. Even more difficult to discern is which team is ahead. And when the assembly is over, who has really won? In a sense, the game is not over then--it just goes on and on.The most significant difference is in the degree of involvement. Someone has said that in football, thousands badly in need of exercise watch 22 players badly in need of rest. But a worship assembly actually has no spectators. We are all in the game, on one side or the other. If you arrive at an assembly thinking you are a spectator, how differently do you act than if you realize you are a player?Imagine how many would attend a football game if all were expected to play. It's your involvement that makes a worship assembly truly meaningful. Get up off the bench and throw yourself into the game!* * *Copyright ©2006 Steve SingletonSteve Singleton has written and edited several books and numerous articles. He has been an editor, reporter, and public relations consultant. He has taught college-level Greek, Bible, and religious studies courses and has taught seminars in 11 states and the Caribbean.Go to his DeeperStudy.com for Bible study resources, no matter what your level of expertise. Explore "The Shallows," plumb "The Depths," or use the well-organized "Study Links" for original sources in English translation. Check out the DeeperStudy Bookstore for great e-books, free books, and great discounts. Subscribe to his free "DeeperStudy Newsletter" or "DeeperStudy Blog."
Keyword : worship,inspiration,proactive Christianity,spectator mentality,praise,football,sports analogy
วันเสาร์ที่ 9 กุมภาพันธ์ พ.ศ. 2551
Your Turn On The Holodeck
Author : Roy Klienwachter
Good morning Roy, good morning Joseth.Roy… You have in your world's history a wonderful example of what life is all about in the physical world and what it is that you are doing here.Gene Rodenberry lived on your planet in the last century and was a soul with a higher awareness of how life works. He was an accomplished film producer and dealt with complicated human issues that your world was facing in his time. His Star Trek series was known world wide and had millions of followers.One of his series "Voyager," had a new element added to it that gave humanity a very good glimpse of how life works in the physical world and your purpose in it. The new element was the "holodeck." Simplistically, the holodeck is a very good example of how mankind manifests his thoughts into physical experience. Your physical world is very much like a holodeck; in fact that is exactly what it is.In the Voyager series the holodeck was a wonderful invention designed for recreation and exploration built into a controlled environment in a special room on the star ship Voyager.
This room could be programmed to create any physical condition that the programmer may want to experience.From the mind of the programmer a beautiful sunny day on a white sandy beach shared with the one she loves could be experienced in physical reality. The scenery, the texture of the sand, the hot sun and the cool ocean breeze and the different smells were real and experienced physically in time and space.A fierce battle with aliens or an enlightening meeting with Leonardo de Vinci could be programmed at will into the holodeck and experienced as existent as long as the program was running.All of the human senses would verify the holodeck images as real as long as the mind of the participant was allowed freedom to focus on the images in time and place.Safety protocols were programmed into the holodeck to insure that no harm would ever come to the participants while in the room. No one could ever be harmed unless they chose to be and at any time the command "computer end program," would be made to discontinue the experience.The holodeck experience is a perfect example of how the physical universe works.Humanity is another aspect of who I am. I (God/Creator) am a formless energy entity with consciousness. I can and do exist in an unlimited number of forms in your physical reality. Humanity is just a small aspect of who I am. Physical reality is another way that I can experience myself and I do that through you. The physical universe is my holodeck and you were created so that I may experience myself in physical form. You were given independence and freedom to program the physical universe anyway that you desired. The physical world is what you are programming; it is the manifestation of your thoughts created in things, objects and other beings.Every one of you is programming your own world individually and in collaboration with other aspects of myself/yourself or souls.Before you are born, you decide what it is that you want to experience physically. You decide you time of birth, the parents that will most likely facilitate that experience and the time, place and circumstances of your death. All of this is done with safety protocols build in, so that the soul cannot be hurt. Your physical body is not who you are, it is who you believe you are. You were given the gift of forgetfulness so that you could experience the physical realm as real. For the time you are in the physical universe, it will be real for you, but in fact it is just an illusion or projection of your individually thoughts.In an endless time of discovery and recreation, I will know myself through you as you experience yourself independently of me through many such realms of existence. You are an aspect of me; we are always connected and separated by an illusion of time and space. You have all my attributes and characteristics, you simply don't know it, you have forgotten and it is appropriate that you do. But you are not victims of circumstances, you are creating them. You are the programmer and the participant in what you are experiencing in your life at this time; it is what you desire at some level of your consciousness. If you do not wish to experience the life that you have created, re-program it or give the command to "end program."Your life and your experiences are as good or bad as you have imagined, but for the sake of your soul, your life and its circumstances are purposeful. You are the programmer and you have the power to change any element of your experience that you desire, but you must know that you can do it for it to work. It will not work with faith, trust, or belief, but with knowing.Knowing is absolute and to know something is to experience it as reality at the moment you have the thought. Faith, trust and belief are steps to knowing. The fastest way to get were you want to go is to know that you are already there.Gene Rodenberry's "holodeck was a wonderful invention, but pales in the shadow of the holodeck that I have created for you, I call it "the universe." You are the captain, this is your ship, make the commands as you see fit, you cannot be harmed in any way, your continuance is guaranteed by me, for you are me in physical form and I would not harm myself.The awareness of which I have just channelled should give you some comfort on your sojourn in the physical realm. It also gives you a huge advantage in knowing that you can change your experience or end it. Once you can move past your focus and see how it works you will never want to leave it. This realm or holodeck that you are now experiencing is the only place that you can experience the five physical senses. These senses allow you to taste, touch, smell, see and hear the environment of which you are creating and are not necessary in other realms. It is these senses that are very addicting and keep souls returning time and time again to your world.Find the beauty in your life, find the positive side of all things whether you consider them good or bad, know that you have given them purpose and that you can change it with a thought, you can re-program your life at will.Your world is faultless the way it is at this time, because it reflects perfectly your current thoughts. Wonder at what you have created; focus not on what you see, smell, taste, touch or hear, but on what these things allow you to experience. What is it that you want to experience, that is the question?Is it making money and collecting abundance that you want to experience or is it what you think those things will cause you to experience that is your desire?Is living in poverty what you desire, or is it climbing out of poverty that is the motivation for experiencing your circumstances?In other words are the circumstances of your life leading you somewhere, is this the purpose of having disease, lack, or accidents. These things do not happen by chance but are (programmed) created by you at some level to facilitate another aspect of physical life.Pay attention to your life, it is the greatest story on earth. See how you create things and bring people and circumstances into your life that are purposeful for what you want to experience as your higher self.All things exist in your mind and can be programmed to be experienced in this magnificent holodeck you call the universe.Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. A student of NLP, ordained minister, New Age Light Worker and Teacher. Roy has written and published five books on New Age wisdom. Roy's books are thought provoking and designed to empower you to take responsibility for your life and what you create. His books and articles are written in the simplicity and eloquence of Zen wisdom.You may not always agree with what he has to say. You will always come away with a new perspective and your thinking will never be the same.Roy's style is hard hitting and comes straight from the heart without all the metaphorical mumble jumble and BS.Visit Roy at: http://www.klienwachter.com
Keyword : purpose,life,holodeck,lifes purpose,creation,path,spiritual,voyager,spiritual path,journey,
Good morning Roy, good morning Joseth.Roy… You have in your world's history a wonderful example of what life is all about in the physical world and what it is that you are doing here.Gene Rodenberry lived on your planet in the last century and was a soul with a higher awareness of how life works. He was an accomplished film producer and dealt with complicated human issues that your world was facing in his time. His Star Trek series was known world wide and had millions of followers.One of his series "Voyager," had a new element added to it that gave humanity a very good glimpse of how life works in the physical world and your purpose in it. The new element was the "holodeck." Simplistically, the holodeck is a very good example of how mankind manifests his thoughts into physical experience. Your physical world is very much like a holodeck; in fact that is exactly what it is.In the Voyager series the holodeck was a wonderful invention designed for recreation and exploration built into a controlled environment in a special room on the star ship Voyager.
This room could be programmed to create any physical condition that the programmer may want to experience.From the mind of the programmer a beautiful sunny day on a white sandy beach shared with the one she loves could be experienced in physical reality. The scenery, the texture of the sand, the hot sun and the cool ocean breeze and the different smells were real and experienced physically in time and space.A fierce battle with aliens or an enlightening meeting with Leonardo de Vinci could be programmed at will into the holodeck and experienced as existent as long as the program was running.All of the human senses would verify the holodeck images as real as long as the mind of the participant was allowed freedom to focus on the images in time and place.Safety protocols were programmed into the holodeck to insure that no harm would ever come to the participants while in the room. No one could ever be harmed unless they chose to be and at any time the command "computer end program," would be made to discontinue the experience.The holodeck experience is a perfect example of how the physical universe works.Humanity is another aspect of who I am. I (God/Creator) am a formless energy entity with consciousness. I can and do exist in an unlimited number of forms in your physical reality. Humanity is just a small aspect of who I am. Physical reality is another way that I can experience myself and I do that through you. The physical universe is my holodeck and you were created so that I may experience myself in physical form. You were given independence and freedom to program the physical universe anyway that you desired. The physical world is what you are programming; it is the manifestation of your thoughts created in things, objects and other beings.Every one of you is programming your own world individually and in collaboration with other aspects of myself/yourself or souls.Before you are born, you decide what it is that you want to experience physically. You decide you time of birth, the parents that will most likely facilitate that experience and the time, place and circumstances of your death. All of this is done with safety protocols build in, so that the soul cannot be hurt. Your physical body is not who you are, it is who you believe you are. You were given the gift of forgetfulness so that you could experience the physical realm as real. For the time you are in the physical universe, it will be real for you, but in fact it is just an illusion or projection of your individually thoughts.In an endless time of discovery and recreation, I will know myself through you as you experience yourself independently of me through many such realms of existence. You are an aspect of me; we are always connected and separated by an illusion of time and space. You have all my attributes and characteristics, you simply don't know it, you have forgotten and it is appropriate that you do. But you are not victims of circumstances, you are creating them. You are the programmer and the participant in what you are experiencing in your life at this time; it is what you desire at some level of your consciousness. If you do not wish to experience the life that you have created, re-program it or give the command to "end program."Your life and your experiences are as good or bad as you have imagined, but for the sake of your soul, your life and its circumstances are purposeful. You are the programmer and you have the power to change any element of your experience that you desire, but you must know that you can do it for it to work. It will not work with faith, trust, or belief, but with knowing.Knowing is absolute and to know something is to experience it as reality at the moment you have the thought. Faith, trust and belief are steps to knowing. The fastest way to get were you want to go is to know that you are already there.Gene Rodenberry's "holodeck was a wonderful invention, but pales in the shadow of the holodeck that I have created for you, I call it "the universe." You are the captain, this is your ship, make the commands as you see fit, you cannot be harmed in any way, your continuance is guaranteed by me, for you are me in physical form and I would not harm myself.The awareness of which I have just channelled should give you some comfort on your sojourn in the physical realm. It also gives you a huge advantage in knowing that you can change your experience or end it. Once you can move past your focus and see how it works you will never want to leave it. This realm or holodeck that you are now experiencing is the only place that you can experience the five physical senses. These senses allow you to taste, touch, smell, see and hear the environment of which you are creating and are not necessary in other realms. It is these senses that are very addicting and keep souls returning time and time again to your world.Find the beauty in your life, find the positive side of all things whether you consider them good or bad, know that you have given them purpose and that you can change it with a thought, you can re-program your life at will.Your world is faultless the way it is at this time, because it reflects perfectly your current thoughts. Wonder at what you have created; focus not on what you see, smell, taste, touch or hear, but on what these things allow you to experience. What is it that you want to experience, that is the question?Is it making money and collecting abundance that you want to experience or is it what you think those things will cause you to experience that is your desire?Is living in poverty what you desire, or is it climbing out of poverty that is the motivation for experiencing your circumstances?In other words are the circumstances of your life leading you somewhere, is this the purpose of having disease, lack, or accidents. These things do not happen by chance but are (programmed) created by you at some level to facilitate another aspect of physical life.Pay attention to your life, it is the greatest story on earth. See how you create things and bring people and circumstances into your life that are purposeful for what you want to experience as your higher self.All things exist in your mind and can be programmed to be experienced in this magnificent holodeck you call the universe.Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. A student of NLP, ordained minister, New Age Light Worker and Teacher. Roy has written and published five books on New Age wisdom. Roy's books are thought provoking and designed to empower you to take responsibility for your life and what you create. His books and articles are written in the simplicity and eloquence of Zen wisdom.You may not always agree with what he has to say. You will always come away with a new perspective and your thinking will never be the same.Roy's style is hard hitting and comes straight from the heart without all the metaphorical mumble jumble and BS.Visit Roy at: http://www.klienwachter.com
Keyword : purpose,life,holodeck,lifes purpose,creation,path,spiritual,voyager,spiritual path,journey,
Super Mom, Wonder Woman, Energizer Mommy or Just Mom
Author : Michaele McMillan
Have you ever sat down to watch the evening news and flashes a News Report about a woman that died with 100 cats, house full of trash and stacks of newspapers to fill 100 dump trucks? In my single days, I use to live by a lady like this. The entire neighborhood would talk about her but none of us ever went over there to see if she needed anything or if I could help her clean her house. We just talked about how could she let her house go that way.Well now it is 7 years down the road, I am a mother of three. My children are 4, 2 , and 1 and I am starting to have a little sympathy for people who are on the news. I feel for the old lady that lived by me when I was younger.I wonder now if maybe the headlines should read " Mother who raised 10 Children died today with 100 cats".Yes, I am fighting not to become her. I have learned that when you become pregnant, your shower gift should no longer be a car seat, toys, or high chairs. Everyone in the family should chip in and buy you two washer machines and dryers. Yes, my laundry room has became into a huge obstacle course of clothes for a family of five, toys that the children drag in there, Detergent powder on the floor at times because the kids are "helping me" with my laundry. You walk into my kitchen. I have dishes in the sink that I promise I am going to wash in the next five minutes but I know the phone will ring or one of the kids will make a bigger mess that I will have to attend to. My dining room table is no longer for dining. No, I cant remember the last meal served on there.I have turned it into my office.It has my bills piled up and the kids paints, colors and the Windex that I pulled out yesterday to clean the windows but as you can guess. It never happened. So am I walked through the house one more night of putting the kids to sleep and saying to myself," This is what happens. I have promised to clean today. I have promised to get at least 20 things on my to-do list but it has not happened." I think to myself. This is where it starts. This is how this woman ended with the 100 cats, house full of newspapers. I bet you she was a mother. Is my life as a mother driving me insane? I don't really think so but I do believe at times I have gotten lost in my role as a mom.Yes, I have tried to be Super Mom, Wonder Woman, Energizer Mommy but the truth is I am not any of these. I am just a woman taking care of my family. It seems that when we become wives and mothers, Our identity becomes taking care of our husbands, our children , our house, the bills. Please don't get me wrong, I love every minute of what God has given me. I just find that as a mother, I am taking care of so many things and taking care of my children that I have not taken care of me. What mother isn't guilty of this. As a mom, I am realizing that When I am the Energizer Mom, It is not necessarily healthy for me or my family.I am learning to realize that my happiness can not come from filling my schedule with kids, work, house duties. I have to take care of myself. I am learning that is is important for my family to have a mom in their life that is energized and happy with herself. I am also learning to admit that even though I love my children some days I need a break from them. I am learning that I need space just as they need their space. Even though we are mothers, We still need to be an individual.I am finding the best way I am finding myself again is helping others but in a different way as the role I was playing as a mom. I am reminding myself the importance of high self esteem as I teach my children to love themselves. I have changed some of the music that was played in the car to cheerful music. I have put the People Magazine down and am reading inspirational books. I am learning not to feel guilty when I did not get to the work I wanted to today. This week I sat down and wrote a few of my friends letters. No not email, a true letter. I am also exercising again. I may have three little ones right behind me touching their toes but this new life style is making me a better person.I may not be the Super Mom, Wonder Woman and The Energizer Mommy, but I know I have to continue to stay focused to take care of me Spiritually and Personally to be the mommy that my family needs. I also know that if I do these things, when I die I wont be the Old woman with 100 Cats, newspapers and all alone. I will be the woman that stayed focused, connected as a mother, wife but most importantly as an individual!Michaele McMillan is a Work at Home Mom. She has a supportive husband and three wonderful children. She owns Auction Village USA (http://www.auctionvillageusa.com) and The Perfect Image (http://www.thperfectimage.us). You can contect her by her websites.
Keyword : Moms, Work at home, Children, Stress, Business, WAHM, Auctions, Self Esteem, Mom, Improving self
Have you ever sat down to watch the evening news and flashes a News Report about a woman that died with 100 cats, house full of trash and stacks of newspapers to fill 100 dump trucks? In my single days, I use to live by a lady like this. The entire neighborhood would talk about her but none of us ever went over there to see if she needed anything or if I could help her clean her house. We just talked about how could she let her house go that way.Well now it is 7 years down the road, I am a mother of three. My children are 4, 2 , and 1 and I am starting to have a little sympathy for people who are on the news. I feel for the old lady that lived by me when I was younger.I wonder now if maybe the headlines should read " Mother who raised 10 Children died today with 100 cats".Yes, I am fighting not to become her. I have learned that when you become pregnant, your shower gift should no longer be a car seat, toys, or high chairs. Everyone in the family should chip in and buy you two washer machines and dryers. Yes, my laundry room has became into a huge obstacle course of clothes for a family of five, toys that the children drag in there, Detergent powder on the floor at times because the kids are "helping me" with my laundry. You walk into my kitchen. I have dishes in the sink that I promise I am going to wash in the next five minutes but I know the phone will ring or one of the kids will make a bigger mess that I will have to attend to. My dining room table is no longer for dining. No, I cant remember the last meal served on there.I have turned it into my office.It has my bills piled up and the kids paints, colors and the Windex that I pulled out yesterday to clean the windows but as you can guess. It never happened. So am I walked through the house one more night of putting the kids to sleep and saying to myself," This is what happens. I have promised to clean today. I have promised to get at least 20 things on my to-do list but it has not happened." I think to myself. This is where it starts. This is how this woman ended with the 100 cats, house full of newspapers. I bet you she was a mother. Is my life as a mother driving me insane? I don't really think so but I do believe at times I have gotten lost in my role as a mom.Yes, I have tried to be Super Mom, Wonder Woman, Energizer Mommy but the truth is I am not any of these. I am just a woman taking care of my family. It seems that when we become wives and mothers, Our identity becomes taking care of our husbands, our children , our house, the bills. Please don't get me wrong, I love every minute of what God has given me. I just find that as a mother, I am taking care of so many things and taking care of my children that I have not taken care of me. What mother isn't guilty of this. As a mom, I am realizing that When I am the Energizer Mom, It is not necessarily healthy for me or my family.I am learning to realize that my happiness can not come from filling my schedule with kids, work, house duties. I have to take care of myself. I am learning that is is important for my family to have a mom in their life that is energized and happy with herself. I am also learning to admit that even though I love my children some days I need a break from them. I am learning that I need space just as they need their space. Even though we are mothers, We still need to be an individual.I am finding the best way I am finding myself again is helping others but in a different way as the role I was playing as a mom. I am reminding myself the importance of high self esteem as I teach my children to love themselves. I have changed some of the music that was played in the car to cheerful music. I have put the People Magazine down and am reading inspirational books. I am learning not to feel guilty when I did not get to the work I wanted to today. This week I sat down and wrote a few of my friends letters. No not email, a true letter. I am also exercising again. I may have three little ones right behind me touching their toes but this new life style is making me a better person.I may not be the Super Mom, Wonder Woman and The Energizer Mommy, but I know I have to continue to stay focused to take care of me Spiritually and Personally to be the mommy that my family needs. I also know that if I do these things, when I die I wont be the Old woman with 100 Cats, newspapers and all alone. I will be the woman that stayed focused, connected as a mother, wife but most importantly as an individual!Michaele McMillan is a Work at Home Mom. She has a supportive husband and three wonderful children. She owns Auction Village USA (http://www.auctionvillageusa.com) and The Perfect Image (http://www.thperfectimage.us). You can contect her by her websites.
Keyword : Moms, Work at home, Children, Stress, Business, WAHM, Auctions, Self Esteem, Mom, Improving self
$12 And 90 Minutes To Change Your Life
Author : Kate Hufstetler
Have you ever listened to self hypnosis tapes? Or listened repeatedly to certain music that carried a specific message? Or what about, have you attended weekly services within a specific religious venue?What do all of these have in common? They influence and change your thinking and paradigm over time to whatever it is they espouse.James Allen wrote "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". What we continually dwell on—consciously and unconsciously is what will shape our thoughts and the world in which we operate. That is why optimism allows some in poverty to believe they have a wonderful life. And another person in the same home, living the same conditions - yet suffering from a pessimistic attitude, will hate and struggle within their circumstances.Self-hypnosis tapes work on our subconscious when we are relaxed so that we do not fight the message, nor answer it in our minds with refuting negativity as we overcome obstacles that we need help with. Music, repeatedly heard, eventually floats through our minds almost unnoticed. Its message—beyond just lyrics, begins to be woven within our ideology and outlook. There are enough news reports of teens over the years acting out in alignment with what artists call "just music". And there are as many within religious organizations that call upon inspirational music as what carried them over through rough times. Also, between scriptures, sermons, classes and books… those within any religious setting begin to shape their lives according to the basic tenants and premises of that line of thought.But what about you?? You have goals, dreams, ideas too. You have things you wish to accomplish, things you wish to strive to. You have ideas about the way you want to feel when living on target. So how can we take a clue from programming in the three situations above to allow YOU – yourself, to begin to program your own destiny?Perhaps you have heard of the technique of writing down your goals daily in order to bring them into reality. Well that works well if you are one of society that learns through writing and visualization. We all learn in different ways. I have tried this method without much success mostly because I am not a visual or written only learner. And partly because I forget to keep at it day after day.Good news!! I have found something that will work for those of us who learn audibly—through our hearing. Assuming that you are totally technology free in your home (which would be rare) all this will cost you is $12 and 90 minutes of your time. For $12 you can go to Walmart and pick up a small tape recorder with the capacity to record tapes. And also buy at least 1 low quality tape holding 90 minutes of possible record time on it. This will be fantastic to start. That is really all it takes to move you into a GREAT life that you design.What you will do is make a list off all you goals—in EVERY area of your life. Then I want you to load up the tape recorder and read your goals into that recorder. Read them as if your goals have been accomplished " I own a beach house on the east coast" , "all my debt is paid off", "I guest lecture twice a year" , "I have 42 motorcycles in my new display show room" etc. Whatever it is you want for work, leisure, love, retirement, etc! List them and read them. Then go back to the top of your list and keep re-reading them until you have finished a whole side. Then do it again for the other side.A few suggestions—do this when you are having a great day! You want your voice to be happy, not down. Also, record on both sides of the tape so that when one side is done you do not have to rewind. This way, the next time you are ready to play it you simply turn it over and hit play.Does it work? Well, I myself did a tape this past summer. I used to just play it as background noise while I would work on the computer, or while doing dishes or folding laundry. I lost it about a month ago when my son shuffled a bunch or our tapes and such around. I found it this past weekend and played it.Guess what???Several of the things I speak about on the tape are WELL on their way to becoming current reality!! From the types of people I wanted to begin getting more involved with, to specific speaking engagements, to simple things like the opportunity for a specific extra curricular activity for my son which "ironically" became available at his after school care program. That one is amazing because they haven't offered it before and not only will it be offered.. but it will be twice a week like I said on the tape. Those are just a few of the examples. But there isn't anything on there that has not begun. I will be honest and tell you there were a few things that did come into my reality and I have changed my mind now after having the opportunity to try them out. But every item has at least begun for me in less than 4 months.We bring into our reality that which we focus on! So if you are a very busy person, as most of us are, this is a GREAT way to program your mind towards the achievement of your goals. The cost is minor- from scratch it is only $12 and 90 minutes to begin living a life by design and not by default.Until next time—all the best,KateAbout The AuthorKate Hufstetler is a well established Personal Life Coach. Her clients come from both the United States and overseas. She offers coaching services via email and phone consultations. For more information and current highlights please visit: http://www.comedreamwithme.com/kate@comedreamwithme.com
Keyword : self hypnosis,self improvement,self improvement tapes,personal coach,coaching,success
Have you ever listened to self hypnosis tapes? Or listened repeatedly to certain music that carried a specific message? Or what about, have you attended weekly services within a specific religious venue?What do all of these have in common? They influence and change your thinking and paradigm over time to whatever it is they espouse.James Allen wrote "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". What we continually dwell on—consciously and unconsciously is what will shape our thoughts and the world in which we operate. That is why optimism allows some in poverty to believe they have a wonderful life. And another person in the same home, living the same conditions - yet suffering from a pessimistic attitude, will hate and struggle within their circumstances.Self-hypnosis tapes work on our subconscious when we are relaxed so that we do not fight the message, nor answer it in our minds with refuting negativity as we overcome obstacles that we need help with. Music, repeatedly heard, eventually floats through our minds almost unnoticed. Its message—beyond just lyrics, begins to be woven within our ideology and outlook. There are enough news reports of teens over the years acting out in alignment with what artists call "just music". And there are as many within religious organizations that call upon inspirational music as what carried them over through rough times. Also, between scriptures, sermons, classes and books… those within any religious setting begin to shape their lives according to the basic tenants and premises of that line of thought.But what about you?? You have goals, dreams, ideas too. You have things you wish to accomplish, things you wish to strive to. You have ideas about the way you want to feel when living on target. So how can we take a clue from programming in the three situations above to allow YOU – yourself, to begin to program your own destiny?Perhaps you have heard of the technique of writing down your goals daily in order to bring them into reality. Well that works well if you are one of society that learns through writing and visualization. We all learn in different ways. I have tried this method without much success mostly because I am not a visual or written only learner. And partly because I forget to keep at it day after day.Good news!! I have found something that will work for those of us who learn audibly—through our hearing. Assuming that you are totally technology free in your home (which would be rare) all this will cost you is $12 and 90 minutes of your time. For $12 you can go to Walmart and pick up a small tape recorder with the capacity to record tapes. And also buy at least 1 low quality tape holding 90 minutes of possible record time on it. This will be fantastic to start. That is really all it takes to move you into a GREAT life that you design.What you will do is make a list off all you goals—in EVERY area of your life. Then I want you to load up the tape recorder and read your goals into that recorder. Read them as if your goals have been accomplished " I own a beach house on the east coast" , "all my debt is paid off", "I guest lecture twice a year" , "I have 42 motorcycles in my new display show room" etc. Whatever it is you want for work, leisure, love, retirement, etc! List them and read them. Then go back to the top of your list and keep re-reading them until you have finished a whole side. Then do it again for the other side.A few suggestions—do this when you are having a great day! You want your voice to be happy, not down. Also, record on both sides of the tape so that when one side is done you do not have to rewind. This way, the next time you are ready to play it you simply turn it over and hit play.Does it work? Well, I myself did a tape this past summer. I used to just play it as background noise while I would work on the computer, or while doing dishes or folding laundry. I lost it about a month ago when my son shuffled a bunch or our tapes and such around. I found it this past weekend and played it.Guess what???Several of the things I speak about on the tape are WELL on their way to becoming current reality!! From the types of people I wanted to begin getting more involved with, to specific speaking engagements, to simple things like the opportunity for a specific extra curricular activity for my son which "ironically" became available at his after school care program. That one is amazing because they haven't offered it before and not only will it be offered.. but it will be twice a week like I said on the tape. Those are just a few of the examples. But there isn't anything on there that has not begun. I will be honest and tell you there were a few things that did come into my reality and I have changed my mind now after having the opportunity to try them out. But every item has at least begun for me in less than 4 months.We bring into our reality that which we focus on! So if you are a very busy person, as most of us are, this is a GREAT way to program your mind towards the achievement of your goals. The cost is minor- from scratch it is only $12 and 90 minutes to begin living a life by design and not by default.Until next time—all the best,KateAbout The AuthorKate Hufstetler is a well established Personal Life Coach. Her clients come from both the United States and overseas. She offers coaching services via email and phone consultations. For more information and current highlights please visit: http://www.comedreamwithme.com/kate@comedreamwithme.com
Keyword : self hypnosis,self improvement,self improvement tapes,personal coach,coaching,success
Win Your Own Lotto
Author : Sean North
When people talk about enrichment, they are usually
thinking of financial enrichment. (Show me the money!)
But, we can enrich many other aspects of our lives too
such as: spiritual, mental, physical, and social, as
examples. Winning the multi-dollar lotto is not
impossible, but are you spending your life waiting for
your fortune to come to you? For those of you that
feel powerless at work, you have more control over your
destiny than you think you do.Why don't you win you OWN Lotto?!? Yes, that's right.
What is stopping you from winning big in your own life?A friend of mine owns a PC Support service called Geeks
4 Rent http://www.geeks4rent.com/. What started out as
a hobby for him a few years ago is now his full time
business. This is a guy who knew what he wanted and
devoted most of his time, money, and energy to creating
his own PC Support business. As someone who has worked
at a Helpdesk for five years, I know that very few
people have more knowledge of computers than my friend
who runs Geeks 4 Rent. He is working at his dream job
and gets paid very well for it. He won his own Lotto!You can win your won Lotto if you embrace the challenge
and possibility of the future. Remember the Charles
Dickens classic "A Christmas Carol?" Scrooge had no
desire to change. The ghosts of Christmas Past,
Present, and Future convinced Scrooge to change by
showing him where he had been, where he was, and where
he'd end up if he continued to live his life the way he
did. By the end of the story, Scrooge was a changed man
because he learned to embrace the future rather than be
afraid of it.Yes. Change IS scary. The unknown is scary too. Too
many of us live with regret and we hold on to past
mistakes. Of course, there are some regrets that we
cannot overcome. But we CAN react to present events and
be proactive about avoiding tomorrow's misgivings. What
do you want your future to bring? What do you want your
life to look like? How will you win your own Lotto?North Notes is a writing and researching company, which primarily helps writers gain focus, motivation, remove mental blocks that help to unblock the writing process. EVERYONE who writes has been stuck at some point in his or her career. You do not have to accept these mind-boggling roadblocks!http://www.northnotes.com; (586) 216-7516
Keyword : Motivation, Happiness, Success, Inspiration,Drive, Goals
When people talk about enrichment, they are usually
thinking of financial enrichment. (Show me the money!)
But, we can enrich many other aspects of our lives too
such as: spiritual, mental, physical, and social, as
examples. Winning the multi-dollar lotto is not
impossible, but are you spending your life waiting for
your fortune to come to you? For those of you that
feel powerless at work, you have more control over your
destiny than you think you do.Why don't you win you OWN Lotto?!? Yes, that's right.
What is stopping you from winning big in your own life?A friend of mine owns a PC Support service called Geeks
4 Rent http://www.geeks4rent.com/. What started out as
a hobby for him a few years ago is now his full time
business. This is a guy who knew what he wanted and
devoted most of his time, money, and energy to creating
his own PC Support business. As someone who has worked
at a Helpdesk for five years, I know that very few
people have more knowledge of computers than my friend
who runs Geeks 4 Rent. He is working at his dream job
and gets paid very well for it. He won his own Lotto!You can win your won Lotto if you embrace the challenge
and possibility of the future. Remember the Charles
Dickens classic "A Christmas Carol?" Scrooge had no
desire to change. The ghosts of Christmas Past,
Present, and Future convinced Scrooge to change by
showing him where he had been, where he was, and where
he'd end up if he continued to live his life the way he
did. By the end of the story, Scrooge was a changed man
because he learned to embrace the future rather than be
afraid of it.Yes. Change IS scary. The unknown is scary too. Too
many of us live with regret and we hold on to past
mistakes. Of course, there are some regrets that we
cannot overcome. But we CAN react to present events and
be proactive about avoiding tomorrow's misgivings. What
do you want your future to bring? What do you want your
life to look like? How will you win your own Lotto?North Notes is a writing and researching company, which primarily helps writers gain focus, motivation, remove mental blocks that help to unblock the writing process. EVERYONE who writes has been stuck at some point in his or her career. You do not have to accept these mind-boggling roadblocks!http://www.northnotes.com; (586) 216-7516
Keyword : Motivation, Happiness, Success, Inspiration,Drive, Goals
Just Let 'Em Go!
Author : Gene Simmons
I remember when I was just a little guy probably about 4 or 5 years old, I was fascinated by snakes. Not any particular type of snake – just snakes in general. I remember being really curious about how they could move around so easily without any legs or feet. I remember liking the colors on the garter snakes that slithered through our Nebraska summer garden.And – I remember one day picking up one of those fascinating garter snakes and holding it right in front of my face so I could get a little better look at the colorful markings on its head. It was at that moment the unthinkable happened. In mere seconds, that wonderful, fascinating creature had transformed itself into a writhing, ferocious monster with a flickering, forked tongue and hypnotic eyes. What happened next? I dropped it, of course. Actually, it may have been more like a toss – that part gets a little blurry. But I got rid of the monster as fast as I could! I let it go!Obviously, the poor snake didn't really change into anything different from what it already was. But my perception told me it had, so I reacted to what I saw as a significant problem. I let it go.Since then, I've learned that "monsters" – real and perceived – come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Most of them we can't physically see but we do experience the results of their presence – and they are very, very real.Our monsters have names – common names. Here are a few: Fear, Guilt, Hate, Self-Doubt, Jealousy, Insecurity, and Anger. They're all slime-balls. They all have the potential power to control our lives and destroy any chance at a truly happy life. Any one of these monsters can freeze us in our tracks and until we recognize it and get it out of the way, we're not going to be able to move on toward whatever better life we have waiting for us.OK, do we need to stop for just a minute here? Yes, I just said "whatever better life we have waiting for us". No, I'm not talking about only a "special, select few" folks who might accidentally be lucky enough to get doused with one of God's super blessings. I'm referring to everybody who lives in a reasonably free society and has access to at least a smidgeon of printed or verbal information. That would probably include you, huh?Yes folks, there is a better life waiting "out there" for every one of us. And this is certainly an oversimplification, but basically all we need to do is visualize it – and then do stuff to get us there. Sure, some of that "stuff" will possibly include doing some personal reprogramming of our thought processes (there's plenty of information available to help do that), getting assistance and guidance from some experts (plenty of that available, too) and some level of investment of our time and energy.However (speaking of reprogramming), unless we recognize and take care of any monsters that we may be clutching tightly to our bosom, we're not going much of anywhere – other than maybe sliding backward into our own personal snake pit. Hmmm, wonder why I just used that analogy? Probably a reason in my background somewhere.Back to the monsters. How do we get rid of 'em? The first step is to recognize that we got 'em. Makes sense, huh? If we don't know one of these stinkers is hanging onto us and dragging us down, there certainly won't be any way for us to get rid of him. Take another look at their names and then take a close look at your thoughts and subsequent actions. See anything that rings a bell? I know, sometimes it's really hard to have an objective view of ourselves so get an outside opinion or two from someone who you know will be absolutely honest with you.Then once you've identified your own personal monster(s), the next step of course, is to get it (them) off your butt and out of the way. Now there's no way in the space of this article to talk about the various techniques for "monster slaying". But here are a few quick helpful hints. One of the things you'll likely need to do is take a real close look at your thought processes (there's that danged programming thing again) and learn how to change them. Again, there is a wealth of information available to you to do exactly that. Books, videos, CD's, self-improvement programs, and personal help in the form of numerous counselors and coaches. It's all "out there" waiting for you. All you need to do is just go get it.Part of the modification in your thought processes will probably include learning how to face – as in "stand up and confront" – your monsters. You may need to dig deep into your better self to find your personal cache of courage that you'll be using as your ultimate weapon of monster destruction. OK, let's be a little more honest. You really don't need to "destroy" these stinkers and I don't know that it's even completely possible to do that. What you will need to do though, is at least take away any power that they have had over you in the past. You see, the only way any of these guys can restrain you is if you give them permission (the power) to do so. Withdraw that permission (let 'em go…) and they're about as much threat as a wad of discarded bubble gum.One way to neutralize a monster is by learning to know it by a different name. A name that can be much easier for us to manage. For example, with a bit of mental manipulation, Fear can become simply "Apprehension" or "Uncertainty". It shouldn't be a major problem being able to handle either one of those guys. Guilt can be transformed into "Regret" or "Disappointment" (as in past perceived misdeeds). Hate can be downgraded into "Dislike" or "Disapproval". Self-Doubt can become a productive "Self-Questioning"…well, you get the idea.So if you've been stuck in a rut and are about ready to climb out and move on toward your better life, be sure to take the time to check your personal mental wardrobe for monsters. Then let 'em go – or at least transform them into a less threatening simple irritant - and move on to the life you truly deserve. It really is there waiting for you!Oh, and the snake? Just another big ole' worm…About The AuthorGene, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles and links along with affordable books and materials written to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life's "secrets for survival" in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life. You can visit Gene at http://www.nupathz.com/gene@nupathz.com
Keyword : fear,self improvement,confidence,affirmation,coaching
I remember when I was just a little guy probably about 4 or 5 years old, I was fascinated by snakes. Not any particular type of snake – just snakes in general. I remember being really curious about how they could move around so easily without any legs or feet. I remember liking the colors on the garter snakes that slithered through our Nebraska summer garden.And – I remember one day picking up one of those fascinating garter snakes and holding it right in front of my face so I could get a little better look at the colorful markings on its head. It was at that moment the unthinkable happened. In mere seconds, that wonderful, fascinating creature had transformed itself into a writhing, ferocious monster with a flickering, forked tongue and hypnotic eyes. What happened next? I dropped it, of course. Actually, it may have been more like a toss – that part gets a little blurry. But I got rid of the monster as fast as I could! I let it go!Obviously, the poor snake didn't really change into anything different from what it already was. But my perception told me it had, so I reacted to what I saw as a significant problem. I let it go.Since then, I've learned that "monsters" – real and perceived – come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Most of them we can't physically see but we do experience the results of their presence – and they are very, very real.Our monsters have names – common names. Here are a few: Fear, Guilt, Hate, Self-Doubt, Jealousy, Insecurity, and Anger. They're all slime-balls. They all have the potential power to control our lives and destroy any chance at a truly happy life. Any one of these monsters can freeze us in our tracks and until we recognize it and get it out of the way, we're not going to be able to move on toward whatever better life we have waiting for us.OK, do we need to stop for just a minute here? Yes, I just said "whatever better life we have waiting for us". No, I'm not talking about only a "special, select few" folks who might accidentally be lucky enough to get doused with one of God's super blessings. I'm referring to everybody who lives in a reasonably free society and has access to at least a smidgeon of printed or verbal information. That would probably include you, huh?Yes folks, there is a better life waiting "out there" for every one of us. And this is certainly an oversimplification, but basically all we need to do is visualize it – and then do stuff to get us there. Sure, some of that "stuff" will possibly include doing some personal reprogramming of our thought processes (there's plenty of information available to help do that), getting assistance and guidance from some experts (plenty of that available, too) and some level of investment of our time and energy.However (speaking of reprogramming), unless we recognize and take care of any monsters that we may be clutching tightly to our bosom, we're not going much of anywhere – other than maybe sliding backward into our own personal snake pit. Hmmm, wonder why I just used that analogy? Probably a reason in my background somewhere.Back to the monsters. How do we get rid of 'em? The first step is to recognize that we got 'em. Makes sense, huh? If we don't know one of these stinkers is hanging onto us and dragging us down, there certainly won't be any way for us to get rid of him. Take another look at their names and then take a close look at your thoughts and subsequent actions. See anything that rings a bell? I know, sometimes it's really hard to have an objective view of ourselves so get an outside opinion or two from someone who you know will be absolutely honest with you.Then once you've identified your own personal monster(s), the next step of course, is to get it (them) off your butt and out of the way. Now there's no way in the space of this article to talk about the various techniques for "monster slaying". But here are a few quick helpful hints. One of the things you'll likely need to do is take a real close look at your thought processes (there's that danged programming thing again) and learn how to change them. Again, there is a wealth of information available to you to do exactly that. Books, videos, CD's, self-improvement programs, and personal help in the form of numerous counselors and coaches. It's all "out there" waiting for you. All you need to do is just go get it.Part of the modification in your thought processes will probably include learning how to face – as in "stand up and confront" – your monsters. You may need to dig deep into your better self to find your personal cache of courage that you'll be using as your ultimate weapon of monster destruction. OK, let's be a little more honest. You really don't need to "destroy" these stinkers and I don't know that it's even completely possible to do that. What you will need to do though, is at least take away any power that they have had over you in the past. You see, the only way any of these guys can restrain you is if you give them permission (the power) to do so. Withdraw that permission (let 'em go…) and they're about as much threat as a wad of discarded bubble gum.One way to neutralize a monster is by learning to know it by a different name. A name that can be much easier for us to manage. For example, with a bit of mental manipulation, Fear can become simply "Apprehension" or "Uncertainty". It shouldn't be a major problem being able to handle either one of those guys. Guilt can be transformed into "Regret" or "Disappointment" (as in past perceived misdeeds). Hate can be downgraded into "Dislike" or "Disapproval". Self-Doubt can become a productive "Self-Questioning"…well, you get the idea.So if you've been stuck in a rut and are about ready to climb out and move on toward your better life, be sure to take the time to check your personal mental wardrobe for monsters. Then let 'em go – or at least transform them into a less threatening simple irritant - and move on to the life you truly deserve. It really is there waiting for you!Oh, and the snake? Just another big ole' worm…About The AuthorGene, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles and links along with affordable books and materials written to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life's "secrets for survival" in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life. You can visit Gene at http://www.nupathz.com/gene@nupathz.com
Keyword : fear,self improvement,confidence,affirmation,coaching
Where Has All the ENCHANTMENT Gone? Long Time Passing
Author : Barbara Becker Holstein
I thought you might enjoy reading a professional article I prepared several years ago. It is just as current today and really speaks to a tragedy in our health care system that we must all try to combat. I am trying to explain some of the problems of managed care which penetrate much more deeply than out pocketbooks. These problems penetrate our minds, bodies and spirits! I am eager to hear from you, as always.Those of us who became clinicians 15, 20, 25 and 30 years ago did so because we had a mission. Each in his or her own fashion had a reason for becoming a clinician that tapped into a need to be of service to humanity, dedicated to utilizing skills that stressed talking and listening as an art/science. We served internships, wrote dissertations and gladly entered what we saw as a 'healing' profession.In fact, we achieved what I refer to as THE ENCHANTED SELF (i.e. Achieving Positive states of being that are a reflection of each person's uniqueness). Each was able to utilize the uniqueness of one's personal history, and talents, serving the public in a meaningful and skilled manner.As private as the treatment room had been, most can look back on those early years, as years of collegial support and understanding. Whether one became an ego-psychologist, a behaviorist, or a family therapist, each of us knew the mentoring, and the success that went with each discipline. We were able to achieve some form of enchantment within the treatment room, offering our clients the best of ourselves, psychologically supported by our colleagues and society at large. We were confident to encourage our clients to stay for the appropriate length of treatment, comfortable making clinical judgments and enthused about learning new techniques and clinical skills. We offset our sleepless nights and anxieties around difficult clients, with elation and moments of pure joy, as we saw clients grow and heal.Those days seem long gone. Now we are in an era of disenchantment. By that I mean we suffer the emotional and financial devastation of Managed Care. Whether a clinician chooses to practice within Managed Care or not, he or she is not protected from disenchantment. Disenchantment is all around.The public does not respect or understand the art/science of psychotherapy as they used to. Nor are the younger clinicians trained and mentored professionally to the standards that we took for granted.Clients come into psychotherapy, often with lowered expectations as to what therapy is, motivated primarily by their pocketbook or their Managed Care's pocketbook. They expect cures within 4, 6 or 8 sessions. After all, that is what their plan offers. They are led to believe that a few sessions are an adequate number of contact hours with a therapist. They expect miracles while no longer having a cursory understanding of what talking therapy is all about. They, like most of America , want a quick fix, and they want it now! Of course, this can not be! Nothing good happens overnight.Giving ourselves a genuine dose of positive regard, beginning to acknowledge our talents, strengths, coping skills and lost potential; learning how to negotiate, react and act; and finally finding pleasure and replenishment in all the right places are universal necessities to living a life of meaning and purpose.As we find ourselves as "mental health providers" in a state of disenchantment, how can we utilize what we know about human potential to offset our own emotional and spiritual malaise? We know from the study of human potential that optimism and hope are extremely important factors in staying well both physically and emotionally. How can we hold on to these capacities within ourselves? How can we at the same time fight Managed Care? In my book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy, I discuss how important our own histories are. Each of us has accumulated many memories. Our memory banks are unique to ourselves and hold within them, the potential for hope and optimism. Let me explain.Only you can review your life's history. Rather than looking for dysfunctional aspects of your past, search out and discover moments when you displayed talents, strengths and/or wonderful coping skills. Only you can review your life, discovering and recognizing the moments when you were filled with the potential for growth and success even if you were stymied. Now is a golden opportunity to look through your past and recognize these wondrous moments.Perhaps as a child you excelled at playing chess or tennis. Perhaps you were the child that brought home and nurtured abandoned birds and animals. Perhaps you longed to study the piano but there was no money and you could not take lessons. Yet even now you may remember the longing you had to play, or, perhaps to fend off feelings of anxiety in a quarreling fancily, you developed marvelous organizational skills. Were you the adolescent that displayed leadership skills, becoming president of the junior high school student council? Or were you the child that loved to dance or write poetry or just sit and daydream? You, who have guided so many others in finding their paths, can take the time to review your own history to find what is most positive about yourself.Once you have begun to review and itemize your talents, strengths, coping skills and potential you are well on your way to bringing enchantment back into your life. Even during these dark days of Managed Care you can utilize your own enchantment in several fashions. You may discover in reviewing your past that you have much more potential to help in the fight for Managed Care then you thought was possible. Directing yourself to be a clearer and stronger warrior in the battle will in and of itself decrease anxiety and lessen the likelihood of depression. We all know that from what we advise our clients.If a review of your past makes clear that you are not cleared to be a warrior in this battle, you can still access long forgotten talents and pleasures which can make your life more fulfilling. Perhaps it is time to take up tennis again. After all, you may have a few more open hours. Perhaps it is time to join a writer's group or offer volunteer services on the local first aid squad. Perhaps it is time to finally make those plans for a walking or biking tour next summer and use extra hours to strengthen those old leg muscles. In reviewing your talents you may discover new avenues to provide mental health services to your local community.Remember, whatever way you go, you will find yourself most successful if you are utilizing your own specific talents, and coping skills. You will soon find that you are able to expand your horizons and have a more positive sense of yourself. You will be back on the road to enchantment.About The AuthorDr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her fre e e-group at www.enchantedself.com.
I thought you might enjoy reading a professional article I prepared several years ago. It is just as current today and really speaks to a tragedy in our health care system that we must all try to combat. I am trying to explain some of the problems of managed care which penetrate much more deeply than out pocketbooks. These problems penetrate our minds, bodies and spirits! I am eager to hear from you, as always.Those of us who became clinicians 15, 20, 25 and 30 years ago did so because we had a mission. Each in his or her own fashion had a reason for becoming a clinician that tapped into a need to be of service to humanity, dedicated to utilizing skills that stressed talking and listening as an art/science. We served internships, wrote dissertations and gladly entered what we saw as a 'healing' profession.In fact, we achieved what I refer to as THE ENCHANTED SELF (i.e. Achieving Positive states of being that are a reflection of each person's uniqueness). Each was able to utilize the uniqueness of one's personal history, and talents, serving the public in a meaningful and skilled manner.As private as the treatment room had been, most can look back on those early years, as years of collegial support and understanding. Whether one became an ego-psychologist, a behaviorist, or a family therapist, each of us knew the mentoring, and the success that went with each discipline. We were able to achieve some form of enchantment within the treatment room, offering our clients the best of ourselves, psychologically supported by our colleagues and society at large. We were confident to encourage our clients to stay for the appropriate length of treatment, comfortable making clinical judgments and enthused about learning new techniques and clinical skills. We offset our sleepless nights and anxieties around difficult clients, with elation and moments of pure joy, as we saw clients grow and heal.Those days seem long gone. Now we are in an era of disenchantment. By that I mean we suffer the emotional and financial devastation of Managed Care. Whether a clinician chooses to practice within Managed Care or not, he or she is not protected from disenchantment. Disenchantment is all around.The public does not respect or understand the art/science of psychotherapy as they used to. Nor are the younger clinicians trained and mentored professionally to the standards that we took for granted.Clients come into psychotherapy, often with lowered expectations as to what therapy is, motivated primarily by their pocketbook or their Managed Care's pocketbook. They expect cures within 4, 6 or 8 sessions. After all, that is what their plan offers. They are led to believe that a few sessions are an adequate number of contact hours with a therapist. They expect miracles while no longer having a cursory understanding of what talking therapy is all about. They, like most of America , want a quick fix, and they want it now! Of course, this can not be! Nothing good happens overnight.Giving ourselves a genuine dose of positive regard, beginning to acknowledge our talents, strengths, coping skills and lost potential; learning how to negotiate, react and act; and finally finding pleasure and replenishment in all the right places are universal necessities to living a life of meaning and purpose.As we find ourselves as "mental health providers" in a state of disenchantment, how can we utilize what we know about human potential to offset our own emotional and spiritual malaise? We know from the study of human potential that optimism and hope are extremely important factors in staying well both physically and emotionally. How can we hold on to these capacities within ourselves? How can we at the same time fight Managed Care? In my book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy, I discuss how important our own histories are. Each of us has accumulated many memories. Our memory banks are unique to ourselves and hold within them, the potential for hope and optimism. Let me explain.Only you can review your life's history. Rather than looking for dysfunctional aspects of your past, search out and discover moments when you displayed talents, strengths and/or wonderful coping skills. Only you can review your life, discovering and recognizing the moments when you were filled with the potential for growth and success even if you were stymied. Now is a golden opportunity to look through your past and recognize these wondrous moments.Perhaps as a child you excelled at playing chess or tennis. Perhaps you were the child that brought home and nurtured abandoned birds and animals. Perhaps you longed to study the piano but there was no money and you could not take lessons. Yet even now you may remember the longing you had to play, or, perhaps to fend off feelings of anxiety in a quarreling fancily, you developed marvelous organizational skills. Were you the adolescent that displayed leadership skills, becoming president of the junior high school student council? Or were you the child that loved to dance or write poetry or just sit and daydream? You, who have guided so many others in finding their paths, can take the time to review your own history to find what is most positive about yourself.Once you have begun to review and itemize your talents, strengths, coping skills and potential you are well on your way to bringing enchantment back into your life. Even during these dark days of Managed Care you can utilize your own enchantment in several fashions. You may discover in reviewing your past that you have much more potential to help in the fight for Managed Care then you thought was possible. Directing yourself to be a clearer and stronger warrior in the battle will in and of itself decrease anxiety and lessen the likelihood of depression. We all know that from what we advise our clients.If a review of your past makes clear that you are not cleared to be a warrior in this battle, you can still access long forgotten talents and pleasures which can make your life more fulfilling. Perhaps it is time to take up tennis again. After all, you may have a few more open hours. Perhaps it is time to join a writer's group or offer volunteer services on the local first aid squad. Perhaps it is time to finally make those plans for a walking or biking tour next summer and use extra hours to strengthen those old leg muscles. In reviewing your talents you may discover new avenues to provide mental health services to your local community.Remember, whatever way you go, you will find yourself most successful if you are utilizing your own specific talents, and coping skills. You will soon find that you are able to expand your horizons and have a more positive sense of yourself. You will be back on the road to enchantment.About The AuthorDr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her fre e e-group at www.enchantedself.com.
Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering/ordering.htm.encself@aol.com
Keyword : psychotherapy,mental health,mental illness,therapy,mind,self improvement,coaching
The Red Ribbon
Author : Staci Stallings
Everyone wants a blue ribbon. Blue. First place. The best. Even kindergarteners want that blue ribbon. In sports, I was never a blue-ribbon person. In a race I was always last. In baseball I was as likely to get hit on the head as to drop the ball. In basketball I was fine as long as there weren't nine other players on the court with me. Where I got my horrible sports ability, I don't know, but I got it. And I got it early.During the spring of my kindergarten year, our class had a fieldtrip to a park in a town about 20 miles away. Making that drive now is no big deal, but when you're six and you've lived in a town of 300 all your life, going to a town of a couple thousand is a very big deal. Nonetheless, looking back now, I don't remember much of that day. I'm sure we ate our little sack lunches, played on the swings, slid down the slide—typical six-year-old stuff. Then it was time for the races.However, these were no ordinary races. Some parent had come up with the idea to have the picnic kind of races, like pass the potato under your neck and hold an egg on a spoon while you run to the other side. I don't remember too much about these, but there was one race that will forever be lodged in my memory—the three-legged race.The parents decided not to use potato sacks for this particular race. Instead, they tied our feet together. One lucky little boy got me for a partner. Now what you have to know about this little boy is that he was the second most athletic boy in our class. I'm sure he knew he was in trouble the second they laced his foot to mine. As for me, I was mortified. This guy was a winner. He almost always won, and I knew that, with me, he didn't have a chance.However, apparently he didn't realize that as deeply as I did at the time. He laced his arm with mine, the gun sounded, and we were off to the other side. Couples were falling and stumbling all around us, but we stayed on our feet and made it to the other side. Unbelievably when we turned around and headed back for home, we were in the lead! Only one other couple even had a chance, and they were a good several yards behind us.Then only feet from the finish line, disaster struck. I tripped and fell. We were close enough that my partner could have easily dragged me across the finish line and won. He could have, but he didn't. Instead, he stopped, reached down, and helped me up—just as the other couple crossed the finish line.I still remember that moment, and I still have that little red ribbon. When we graduated 13 years later, I stood on that stage and gave the Valedictory address to that same group of students, none of whom even remembered that moment anymore. So, I told them about that little boy who had made a split-second decision that helping a friend up was more important than winning a blue ribbon. In my speech I told them that I wouldn't tell which of the guys sitting there on that stage was the little boy although he was up there with me. I wouldn't tell because in truth at one time or another all of them had been that little boy—helping me up when I fell, taking time out from their pursuit of their own goals to help a fellow person in need.And I told them why I've kept that ribbon. You see to me, that ribbon is a reminder that you don't have to be a winner in the eyes of the world to be a winner to those closest to you. The world may judge you a failure or a success, but those closest to you will know the truth. That's important to remember as we travel through this life.You may not have a red ribbon to prove it, but I sincerely hope you have at least a few friends who remember you for taking time out from your pursuit of that blue ribbon to help them. I'm thinking those will be the ones that really count—I know it's the one that counted the most to me.About The AuthorLife is meant to be lived—not just survived. Find out how. Visit StaciStallings.com. You'll feel better for the experience!
Keyword : improvement self, inspirational, success, achievement, helping others
Everyone wants a blue ribbon. Blue. First place. The best. Even kindergarteners want that blue ribbon. In sports, I was never a blue-ribbon person. In a race I was always last. In baseball I was as likely to get hit on the head as to drop the ball. In basketball I was fine as long as there weren't nine other players on the court with me. Where I got my horrible sports ability, I don't know, but I got it. And I got it early.During the spring of my kindergarten year, our class had a fieldtrip to a park in a town about 20 miles away. Making that drive now is no big deal, but when you're six and you've lived in a town of 300 all your life, going to a town of a couple thousand is a very big deal. Nonetheless, looking back now, I don't remember much of that day. I'm sure we ate our little sack lunches, played on the swings, slid down the slide—typical six-year-old stuff. Then it was time for the races.However, these were no ordinary races. Some parent had come up with the idea to have the picnic kind of races, like pass the potato under your neck and hold an egg on a spoon while you run to the other side. I don't remember too much about these, but there was one race that will forever be lodged in my memory—the three-legged race.The parents decided not to use potato sacks for this particular race. Instead, they tied our feet together. One lucky little boy got me for a partner. Now what you have to know about this little boy is that he was the second most athletic boy in our class. I'm sure he knew he was in trouble the second they laced his foot to mine. As for me, I was mortified. This guy was a winner. He almost always won, and I knew that, with me, he didn't have a chance.However, apparently he didn't realize that as deeply as I did at the time. He laced his arm with mine, the gun sounded, and we were off to the other side. Couples were falling and stumbling all around us, but we stayed on our feet and made it to the other side. Unbelievably when we turned around and headed back for home, we were in the lead! Only one other couple even had a chance, and they were a good several yards behind us.Then only feet from the finish line, disaster struck. I tripped and fell. We were close enough that my partner could have easily dragged me across the finish line and won. He could have, but he didn't. Instead, he stopped, reached down, and helped me up—just as the other couple crossed the finish line.I still remember that moment, and I still have that little red ribbon. When we graduated 13 years later, I stood on that stage and gave the Valedictory address to that same group of students, none of whom even remembered that moment anymore. So, I told them about that little boy who had made a split-second decision that helping a friend up was more important than winning a blue ribbon. In my speech I told them that I wouldn't tell which of the guys sitting there on that stage was the little boy although he was up there with me. I wouldn't tell because in truth at one time or another all of them had been that little boy—helping me up when I fell, taking time out from their pursuit of their own goals to help a fellow person in need.And I told them why I've kept that ribbon. You see to me, that ribbon is a reminder that you don't have to be a winner in the eyes of the world to be a winner to those closest to you. The world may judge you a failure or a success, but those closest to you will know the truth. That's important to remember as we travel through this life.You may not have a red ribbon to prove it, but I sincerely hope you have at least a few friends who remember you for taking time out from your pursuit of that blue ribbon to help them. I'm thinking those will be the ones that really count—I know it's the one that counted the most to me.About The AuthorLife is meant to be lived—not just survived. Find out how. Visit StaciStallings.com. You'll feel better for the experience!
Keyword : improvement self, inspirational, success, achievement, helping others
Improving Your Self Esteem
Author : Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Our society also sends a message of competition and achievement. We watch sports, we always hear about profit and the bottom line being the dollar, we see large companies competing and constantly buying each other out.The result often is that we are taught to see how well we are doing, in terms of how pretty we are, how bright we are, what kind of house we have, how well we do in sports, what rewards we receive. However, in reality, these are external measures. Each of us needs to develop a sense of self-worth, a capacity for positive self-regard that comes from within.Here is an example: Sara was divorced and felt in many ways that she had shortchanged her two daughters, in the sense that they lived on very little money. She could shower few luxuries on them. At times, in her therapy, she talked to me about feeling that she was not much good at anything. Her husband had been abusive both physically and mentally, and had put her down almost constantly. Although she no longer lived with him, inside of herself she still carried feelings of worthlessness.One day I asked her to review some of the best moments in her childhood. She said, "I always loved when Uncle Sam used to come over, and we all sang songs." I asked her if she did anything like that now, with her girls. She said that they often sang together in the car. In fact, she had taught them many of the songs that Uncle Sam had taught her. I asked her if she realized that she was offering her girls some of the wonderful family memories that were unique to her as a child. She said she hadn't thought about it, but it was certainly true. During months of therapy, we worked again and again in recognizing many valuable aspects of herself. Needless to say, her self-esteem began to improve. Sara is an example for all of us, in the sense that each person has to document his or her own positive talents and strengths.We have to learn to pat ourselves on the back. To help you, I suggest a self-pride list. During the coming week, write down at least one item a day that you can take pride in having handled well. For example, I was polite and kind to several people in the supermarket checkout line, even though I was tired. Or, I used my head, rather than my fist, and really shared with my son my concerns over his getting another traffic ticket.At the end of the week, read over your self-pride list, giving yourself a mental hug, or the high five sign. This is the beginning of giving yourself more recognition, which will in time lead to an improved sense of self worth. It is only with this improved sense of self-esteem that you can have the confidence to make sure that your life is filled with enchantment.About The AuthorDr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm
Keyword : self esteem,self help,confidence,coaching,success,motivation,inspiration
Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Our society also sends a message of competition and achievement. We watch sports, we always hear about profit and the bottom line being the dollar, we see large companies competing and constantly buying each other out.The result often is that we are taught to see how well we are doing, in terms of how pretty we are, how bright we are, what kind of house we have, how well we do in sports, what rewards we receive. However, in reality, these are external measures. Each of us needs to develop a sense of self-worth, a capacity for positive self-regard that comes from within.Here is an example: Sara was divorced and felt in many ways that she had shortchanged her two daughters, in the sense that they lived on very little money. She could shower few luxuries on them. At times, in her therapy, she talked to me about feeling that she was not much good at anything. Her husband had been abusive both physically and mentally, and had put her down almost constantly. Although she no longer lived with him, inside of herself she still carried feelings of worthlessness.One day I asked her to review some of the best moments in her childhood. She said, "I always loved when Uncle Sam used to come over, and we all sang songs." I asked her if she did anything like that now, with her girls. She said that they often sang together in the car. In fact, she had taught them many of the songs that Uncle Sam had taught her. I asked her if she realized that she was offering her girls some of the wonderful family memories that were unique to her as a child. She said she hadn't thought about it, but it was certainly true. During months of therapy, we worked again and again in recognizing many valuable aspects of herself. Needless to say, her self-esteem began to improve. Sara is an example for all of us, in the sense that each person has to document his or her own positive talents and strengths.We have to learn to pat ourselves on the back. To help you, I suggest a self-pride list. During the coming week, write down at least one item a day that you can take pride in having handled well. For example, I was polite and kind to several people in the supermarket checkout line, even though I was tired. Or, I used my head, rather than my fist, and really shared with my son my concerns over his getting another traffic ticket.At the end of the week, read over your self-pride list, giving yourself a mental hug, or the high five sign. This is the beginning of giving yourself more recognition, which will in time lead to an improved sense of self worth. It is only with this improved sense of self-esteem that you can have the confidence to make sure that your life is filled with enchantment.About The AuthorDr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm
Keyword : self esteem,self help,confidence,coaching,success,motivation,inspiration
The Dead
Author : Wayne Mitchell
Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 9, 2004I love my wife with all my heart and soul. She is now and will ever be the other half of my heart. Twenty years ago I felt much the same about another woman. She was my first true love. Unfortunately, her parents did not see us having a future together. Although I had a hard time letting go, I respected their wishes.We both went on to live separate lives. We married different people and had children, and we moved thousands of miles apart. I found out she died yesterday. I did not expect the news to affect me this way, but I am shattered.I feel the grief of loss, even though her love is something I have not had, nor could hope to have, for the last 20 years. I feel guilt for feeling this grief and do not know how to explain this to my wife. She can see the news affected me. How do I cope with this? Is it appropriate to send my condolences to her husband and children. What would I say?GuyGuy, in James Joyce's story "The Dead," a man named Gabriel Conroy goes with his wife Gretta to the annual Christmas dance given by his aunts. At the end of the evening, with most of the guests gone, a tenor sings a song which stirs a memory in Gretta. Gabriel's heart is brimming with happiness because he thinks his wife's thoughts are running with his.Back in their hotel room Gretta, in tears, explains that the song reminded her of a boy she once loved. The boy died after standing in the rain outside Gretta's window the night before she left home. Gabriel then realizes how deeply his wife loved this boy, and he realizes "how poor a part he, her husband, had played in her life."It's hard to share this memory with your wife without her wondering how poor a part she, your wife, has played in your life. To tell your wife she is the other half of your heart, and then to say 20 years ago you felt the same about another woman, may undermine the sincerity of your words.And what would you tell the husband and children of your first love? That you are the man who should have been her husband and their father? That won't help them. There is no reason to feel guilt, but you should realize this is all about you, your feelings, and your imagining of what might have been.We suggest two things. Write out all your feelings, perhaps even the entire story of your relationship, in private. In the writing you may come to understand why her death has affected you so deeply. And get a book on grieving as a way to get in touch with your emotions and accept her death. Some things must be faced alone.Wayne & TamaraA Day AwayMy friends and teachers take the mickey out of my name by singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" from the musical "Annie." But they replace tomorrow with Tamara, and it really hurts my feelings. What should I do?TamaraTamara, I bet my bottom dollar you'll be having people use word play on your name not just tomorrow, but for the rest of your life. Like you, I pronounce my name like the day after today, except the o's become a's and the w is dropped.People love making puns, and teasing or "taking the mickey out" of a name makes them feel clever. But isn't the mickey really on them? When you walk into a room, you are able to make people break into a happy show tune, whether they can carry a tune or not. That song makes people smile, and it ends with "I love ya, Tamara." Take it as a compliment and smile with them.TamaraAbout The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Keyword : inspiration,coaching,self improvement,counseling,goals,motivation
Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 9, 2004I love my wife with all my heart and soul. She is now and will ever be the other half of my heart. Twenty years ago I felt much the same about another woman. She was my first true love. Unfortunately, her parents did not see us having a future together. Although I had a hard time letting go, I respected their wishes.We both went on to live separate lives. We married different people and had children, and we moved thousands of miles apart. I found out she died yesterday. I did not expect the news to affect me this way, but I am shattered.I feel the grief of loss, even though her love is something I have not had, nor could hope to have, for the last 20 years. I feel guilt for feeling this grief and do not know how to explain this to my wife. She can see the news affected me. How do I cope with this? Is it appropriate to send my condolences to her husband and children. What would I say?GuyGuy, in James Joyce's story "The Dead," a man named Gabriel Conroy goes with his wife Gretta to the annual Christmas dance given by his aunts. At the end of the evening, with most of the guests gone, a tenor sings a song which stirs a memory in Gretta. Gabriel's heart is brimming with happiness because he thinks his wife's thoughts are running with his.Back in their hotel room Gretta, in tears, explains that the song reminded her of a boy she once loved. The boy died after standing in the rain outside Gretta's window the night before she left home. Gabriel then realizes how deeply his wife loved this boy, and he realizes "how poor a part he, her husband, had played in her life."It's hard to share this memory with your wife without her wondering how poor a part she, your wife, has played in your life. To tell your wife she is the other half of your heart, and then to say 20 years ago you felt the same about another woman, may undermine the sincerity of your words.And what would you tell the husband and children of your first love? That you are the man who should have been her husband and their father? That won't help them. There is no reason to feel guilt, but you should realize this is all about you, your feelings, and your imagining of what might have been.We suggest two things. Write out all your feelings, perhaps even the entire story of your relationship, in private. In the writing you may come to understand why her death has affected you so deeply. And get a book on grieving as a way to get in touch with your emotions and accept her death. Some things must be faced alone.Wayne & TamaraA Day AwayMy friends and teachers take the mickey out of my name by singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" from the musical "Annie." But they replace tomorrow with Tamara, and it really hurts my feelings. What should I do?TamaraTamara, I bet my bottom dollar you'll be having people use word play on your name not just tomorrow, but for the rest of your life. Like you, I pronounce my name like the day after today, except the o's become a's and the w is dropped.People love making puns, and teasing or "taking the mickey out" of a name makes them feel clever. But isn't the mickey really on them? When you walk into a room, you are able to make people break into a happy show tune, whether they can carry a tune or not. That song makes people smile, and it ends with "I love ya, Tamara." Take it as a compliment and smile with them.TamaraAbout The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Keyword : inspiration,coaching,self improvement,counseling,goals,motivation
Mitigating Factors
Author : Wayne Mitchell
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 30, 2002I am writing for advice on a personal dilemma of the most personal nature. I am male, mid-40s, married 20 years.After all these years, I still long to make love to my wife two or three times per week, while she seems to prefer two or three times per year, if ever. Best I can tell, she no longer enjoys making love whatsoever and hasn't for the last 10 years.While all this seems dismal, the problem I am seeking advice on is more a moral issue. First, let me make sure you know that I have been faithful to my wife since the day I met her. I would never consider sex outside my marriage vows. That goes against every moral fiber of my being.Additionally, pornographic materials and gentlemen's clubs go against my beliefs and would only make matters worse. I will say after all these years I do understand why some men succumb to weakness and fall prey to sex outside their marriage.Please do not tell me to have a meaningful conversation with my wife. I tried that and failed miserably. In February 2000, after years of trying to get through to her, I felt I couldn't take it anymore. I told her I long for the intimacy only a married couple can share.She offered no reason, except she is always tired and has too much on her plate. While I acknowledge that she shoulders plenty of responsibility with work and home, she can find the time to walk the dogs or work herself to the bone on something that can wait until tomorrow.I pleaded with her to get whatever physical, medical, emotional or psychological help she might need to get our marriage back on track. I offered to attend any sessions she felt comfortable with me participating in.I offered to do anything in our lovemaking that would make it more enjoyable for her. I told her I would not pressure her into making love, but would wait for her to let me know when she was ready.For four weeks things improved as we made love three times. However, she never sought outside help and began to fall into her old comfortable habits. Over the next 17 months we made love only another six times with most coming at my insistence.I finally gave up keeping track and gave up on her caring enough to change. Short of divorce, how do I relieve my sexual tension without compromising my beliefs and myself?MarshallMarshall, rules make sense in context. One rule most people believe in is "Thou shalt not kill." However, if you must kill a man to defend your wife and children, most people would say you haven't violated the rule.If a robber breaks into your home, collects your valuables and asks if you have anymore money, most people would say it is okay to lie. Why? Because rules only make sense in context. Otherwise the person with the lower standard always gets to win.From society's point of view, marriage is the best possible context for sexuality to be expressed. Marriage attaches sex to love and a caring, committed relationship, and two people are present to raise the children.You don't believe in divorce, yet you have contemplated adultery. Why? Because something which belongs in your marriage is not there. "Keep thee only unto him" absolutely means don't cheat, but it does not mean "Don't let him have it either."Your wife will not honestly tell you what is on her mind, and you have suggested every possible solution. As a result, you are estranged from the person you should be most closely bonded to.It is time to apply your ideas about marriage and divorce to your current specific situation and decide what is right. Rules only make sense in context.Wayne & TamaraAbout The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Keyword : inspiration,coaching,self improvement,counseling,goals,motivation
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 30, 2002I am writing for advice on a personal dilemma of the most personal nature. I am male, mid-40s, married 20 years.After all these years, I still long to make love to my wife two or three times per week, while she seems to prefer two or three times per year, if ever. Best I can tell, she no longer enjoys making love whatsoever and hasn't for the last 10 years.While all this seems dismal, the problem I am seeking advice on is more a moral issue. First, let me make sure you know that I have been faithful to my wife since the day I met her. I would never consider sex outside my marriage vows. That goes against every moral fiber of my being.Additionally, pornographic materials and gentlemen's clubs go against my beliefs and would only make matters worse. I will say after all these years I do understand why some men succumb to weakness and fall prey to sex outside their marriage.Please do not tell me to have a meaningful conversation with my wife. I tried that and failed miserably. In February 2000, after years of trying to get through to her, I felt I couldn't take it anymore. I told her I long for the intimacy only a married couple can share.She offered no reason, except she is always tired and has too much on her plate. While I acknowledge that she shoulders plenty of responsibility with work and home, she can find the time to walk the dogs or work herself to the bone on something that can wait until tomorrow.I pleaded with her to get whatever physical, medical, emotional or psychological help she might need to get our marriage back on track. I offered to attend any sessions she felt comfortable with me participating in.I offered to do anything in our lovemaking that would make it more enjoyable for her. I told her I would not pressure her into making love, but would wait for her to let me know when she was ready.For four weeks things improved as we made love three times. However, she never sought outside help and began to fall into her old comfortable habits. Over the next 17 months we made love only another six times with most coming at my insistence.I finally gave up keeping track and gave up on her caring enough to change. Short of divorce, how do I relieve my sexual tension without compromising my beliefs and myself?MarshallMarshall, rules make sense in context. One rule most people believe in is "Thou shalt not kill." However, if you must kill a man to defend your wife and children, most people would say you haven't violated the rule.If a robber breaks into your home, collects your valuables and asks if you have anymore money, most people would say it is okay to lie. Why? Because rules only make sense in context. Otherwise the person with the lower standard always gets to win.From society's point of view, marriage is the best possible context for sexuality to be expressed. Marriage attaches sex to love and a caring, committed relationship, and two people are present to raise the children.You don't believe in divorce, yet you have contemplated adultery. Why? Because something which belongs in your marriage is not there. "Keep thee only unto him" absolutely means don't cheat, but it does not mean "Don't let him have it either."Your wife will not honestly tell you what is on her mind, and you have suggested every possible solution. As a result, you are estranged from the person you should be most closely bonded to.It is time to apply your ideas about marriage and divorce to your current specific situation and decide what is right. Rules only make sense in context.Wayne & TamaraAbout The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Keyword : inspiration,coaching,self improvement,counseling,goals,motivation
On Stand-by
Author : Wayne Mitchell
Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 28, 2003My wife of 35 years has fallen in love again with her old college boyfriend. I am 61, and she is 58. We have three grown children. Her boyfriend is 59, married, with two grown children.They had not communicated since college. A year ago they met at a class reunion. Since then, they have constantly talked on the phone. I know about their communication because my wife told me. However, last December my wife became secretive.One night I heard her saying "I love you" to him. When I confronted my wife, she admitted she loved him but she still loves me, too. She said she's not going to leave me and break up the family. She begged me not to leave or stop loving her.As a compromise we agreed he can call her once in awhile if he has important news about their classmates. She would not call him, as I reiterated to her that would be a violation of trust. However, a month later I overheard them talking. Again she begged me not to give up on her.I talked to my wife's boyfriend, and he assured me he's not trying to break up our family. He can wait until she is free, meaning if I die. If that happens, then they can pursue their dreams together. If not, then it's not meant to be.I love my wife and trust her with anything but her long distance love affair. He lives halfway across the country. They haven't had physical involvement yet, but despite its absence, I am deeply hurt. Shall I leave her, give up on her, or wait and see?HarryHarry, your wife has shattered your world and your relationship with her. Even if she stays, you will wonder about her reasons.She didn't wake up the day of the reunion a different person. She was already at a point where there was room for this to occur. When your wife talks to her boyfriend, you are not there. She and her unrestrained feelings are there.Relationships can become a habit, like putting your hat in the same place each time you come home. That does not reflect some deep emotion. It's just a habit. Habits can mask many feelings, the lack of feeling, or the longing for something else. That is why you may not feel you saw this coming, because she was maintaining most of her habits as your wife.Love is like a race. We all want to finish first. You cannot be forced into second place and feel good about yourself. The longer you are passive, the worse you will feel because you will be letting two other people decide what your life will be.You must decide how much contact, if any, you can accept. You must decide if certain boundaries are crossed, what you will do. You must decide for yourself what is acceptable for you, or if a boundary has already been crossed from which there is no return.TamaraSimple AnswersI have been seeing this fellow for the past year. He says he has a love for me and feels comfortable with me.He mentioned when he is around me he thinks of someone dear to his heart. I asked, "Who?" He said, "My mother." I asked, "Is that why you can't have sex with me, because you see your mother?" He said, "Yes." Where does that leave me?ZoraZora, more than a century ago William James talked about the psychologist's fallacy. What he meant was that people are inclined to view everything as some sort of psychological problem to be solved.Things are often a lot simpler than that. He loves you like he loves his mother. You want someone who loves and desires you as a wife. Where does that leave you? In need of a cold shower.WayneAbout The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Keyword : inspiration,coaching,self improvement,counseling,goals,motivation
Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 28, 2003My wife of 35 years has fallen in love again with her old college boyfriend. I am 61, and she is 58. We have three grown children. Her boyfriend is 59, married, with two grown children.They had not communicated since college. A year ago they met at a class reunion. Since then, they have constantly talked on the phone. I know about their communication because my wife told me. However, last December my wife became secretive.One night I heard her saying "I love you" to him. When I confronted my wife, she admitted she loved him but she still loves me, too. She said she's not going to leave me and break up the family. She begged me not to leave or stop loving her.As a compromise we agreed he can call her once in awhile if he has important news about their classmates. She would not call him, as I reiterated to her that would be a violation of trust. However, a month later I overheard them talking. Again she begged me not to give up on her.I talked to my wife's boyfriend, and he assured me he's not trying to break up our family. He can wait until she is free, meaning if I die. If that happens, then they can pursue their dreams together. If not, then it's not meant to be.I love my wife and trust her with anything but her long distance love affair. He lives halfway across the country. They haven't had physical involvement yet, but despite its absence, I am deeply hurt. Shall I leave her, give up on her, or wait and see?HarryHarry, your wife has shattered your world and your relationship with her. Even if she stays, you will wonder about her reasons.She didn't wake up the day of the reunion a different person. She was already at a point where there was room for this to occur. When your wife talks to her boyfriend, you are not there. She and her unrestrained feelings are there.Relationships can become a habit, like putting your hat in the same place each time you come home. That does not reflect some deep emotion. It's just a habit. Habits can mask many feelings, the lack of feeling, or the longing for something else. That is why you may not feel you saw this coming, because she was maintaining most of her habits as your wife.Love is like a race. We all want to finish first. You cannot be forced into second place and feel good about yourself. The longer you are passive, the worse you will feel because you will be letting two other people decide what your life will be.You must decide how much contact, if any, you can accept. You must decide if certain boundaries are crossed, what you will do. You must decide for yourself what is acceptable for you, or if a boundary has already been crossed from which there is no return.TamaraSimple AnswersI have been seeing this fellow for the past year. He says he has a love for me and feels comfortable with me.He mentioned when he is around me he thinks of someone dear to his heart. I asked, "Who?" He said, "My mother." I asked, "Is that why you can't have sex with me, because you see your mother?" He said, "Yes." Where does that leave me?ZoraZora, more than a century ago William James talked about the psychologist's fallacy. What he meant was that people are inclined to view everything as some sort of psychological problem to be solved.Things are often a lot simpler than that. He loves you like he loves his mother. You want someone who loves and desires you as a wife. Where does that leave you? In need of a cold shower.WayneAbout The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Keyword : inspiration,coaching,self improvement,counseling,goals,motivation
A Key In Hand Is Worth A Thousand On My Desk
Author : James Snyder
A key fault I have, and I can only talk about one fault at a time, is the tendency to get busy. I often find myself chasing my own tail. What I will do with it when I catch it is beyond my understanding. However, this notwithstanding, I fall into the trap time after time of getting too busy for my own good.The faster I try to go; the less I seem to accomplish.This past week proved no exception; in fact, everything came to a head on Monday. I had my To-Do-List all prioritized and neatly written on several 3 by 5 cards stuffed in my shirt pocket. Earlier I went through them item by item to make sure I could maximize the day. After all, "The early bird catches the worm."Being the turkey I am, I have no idea what I'm going to do with the worm when I catch it, particularly if it's early in the morning when all I want is a good cup of coffee. Yet, I can often be found imitating that "early bird" scurrying around with my list of important things to do.Getting back to my Monday catastrophe, and I can't think of another word that adequately describes last Monday. Sure, I've had catastrophes before. But this one was the wicked stepmother of all catastrophes.After organizing my 3 by 5 cards, I made some mental notes as to how long each job would take. Returning those cards to my shirt pocket, I smiled the smile of one who has conquered his day. I felt good about myself and was anxious to get started on my day.My day started out rather well. In fact, I discovered by mid-morning I was ahead of schedule. I chuckled to myself and thought, "next time I'll have a longer To-Do-List."Suddenly, everything came to a screech owl halt.I needed to pick up something at my office, which would only take a moment. I pulled up to my office door, jumped out of the car and unlocked the office door.The office door can only be locked from the outside, with a key. The inside has a handicap bar according to the building code. I thought I would save time by unlocking the door and then locking it while I went inside to retrieve the item I needed. This would mean when I came to leave I could walk out, shut the door behind me and it would lock automatically.This would save me exactly .00003 seconds of time. As time is precious, I thought it worth the effort.The plan was going fine. Walking past my desk, I laid my keys on top of my desk. About this time I remembered something I needed from the car and dashed out to retrieve it. Just as I got to my car, I heard the door slam shut and one thought meandered through my stunned mind; "the keys."The keys were exactly where I had left them — on my desk in my office.My first thought was to panic. So, for about seven minutes I luxuriated in sheer panic.My second thought was, "how am I going to get inside the building?"I must confess my second thought drowned out my first. Some may have the luxury of indulging in panic, but I was on a schedule. My To-Do-List was begging to be done that day.I circled the building three times and then laid down in sheer bewilderment. Not one door was unlocked. Not one window was accessible from the outside. All the effort put into making our building burglarproof was my nightmare in shinning alarm.I thought of breaking a window but what if someone saw me? Also, I'd have to pay for the damages.In my mind, I went over everybody who had a key to our church. Everyone I could think of was out of town or working. Even my wife was in Daytona Beach.Then I had a brilliant thought. I must confess I don't have many but when I do, it brightens up my day. "The builder of the church might have a key." For some odd reason I had my cell phone with me, so I called the builder.Unfortunately for me, he did not have a spare key to our building. My heart sank into the sole of my right foot because I had no options left.Then the builder said, "I'll send one of my carpenters over to take a door off and let you in." I did not know that could be done, but I was glad for any help I could get at this point.Within a few moments, the carpenter showed up. As he got out of his truck, I could see a sly smile smeared all over his puss. I took it like a man; a man locked out of his own office.He spent about an hour taking the door off its hinges. Just as he finished my cell phone rang. A lady from the church with a spare church key was five minutes away.I never told the carpenter about the last minute key because he worked so hard taking the door off and then putting it back on again.Only one key in life really matters and that is Jesus, who said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6 KJV.)He is the only key that opens the door to heaven and I can never lose him.Reverend Snyder is currently ministering at the "Family of God
Fellowship" in Ocala, Florida. More of his articles are available
for reprint at his website:
A key fault I have, and I can only talk about one fault at a time, is the tendency to get busy. I often find myself chasing my own tail. What I will do with it when I catch it is beyond my understanding. However, this notwithstanding, I fall into the trap time after time of getting too busy for my own good.The faster I try to go; the less I seem to accomplish.This past week proved no exception; in fact, everything came to a head on Monday. I had my To-Do-List all prioritized and neatly written on several 3 by 5 cards stuffed in my shirt pocket. Earlier I went through them item by item to make sure I could maximize the day. After all, "The early bird catches the worm."Being the turkey I am, I have no idea what I'm going to do with the worm when I catch it, particularly if it's early in the morning when all I want is a good cup of coffee. Yet, I can often be found imitating that "early bird" scurrying around with my list of important things to do.Getting back to my Monday catastrophe, and I can't think of another word that adequately describes last Monday. Sure, I've had catastrophes before. But this one was the wicked stepmother of all catastrophes.After organizing my 3 by 5 cards, I made some mental notes as to how long each job would take. Returning those cards to my shirt pocket, I smiled the smile of one who has conquered his day. I felt good about myself and was anxious to get started on my day.My day started out rather well. In fact, I discovered by mid-morning I was ahead of schedule. I chuckled to myself and thought, "next time I'll have a longer To-Do-List."Suddenly, everything came to a screech owl halt.I needed to pick up something at my office, which would only take a moment. I pulled up to my office door, jumped out of the car and unlocked the office door.The office door can only be locked from the outside, with a key. The inside has a handicap bar according to the building code. I thought I would save time by unlocking the door and then locking it while I went inside to retrieve the item I needed. This would mean when I came to leave I could walk out, shut the door behind me and it would lock automatically.This would save me exactly .00003 seconds of time. As time is precious, I thought it worth the effort.The plan was going fine. Walking past my desk, I laid my keys on top of my desk. About this time I remembered something I needed from the car and dashed out to retrieve it. Just as I got to my car, I heard the door slam shut and one thought meandered through my stunned mind; "the keys."The keys were exactly where I had left them — on my desk in my office.My first thought was to panic. So, for about seven minutes I luxuriated in sheer panic.My second thought was, "how am I going to get inside the building?"I must confess my second thought drowned out my first. Some may have the luxury of indulging in panic, but I was on a schedule. My To-Do-List was begging to be done that day.I circled the building three times and then laid down in sheer bewilderment. Not one door was unlocked. Not one window was accessible from the outside. All the effort put into making our building burglarproof was my nightmare in shinning alarm.I thought of breaking a window but what if someone saw me? Also, I'd have to pay for the damages.In my mind, I went over everybody who had a key to our church. Everyone I could think of was out of town or working. Even my wife was in Daytona Beach.Then I had a brilliant thought. I must confess I don't have many but when I do, it brightens up my day. "The builder of the church might have a key." For some odd reason I had my cell phone with me, so I called the builder.Unfortunately for me, he did not have a spare key to our building. My heart sank into the sole of my right foot because I had no options left.Then the builder said, "I'll send one of my carpenters over to take a door off and let you in." I did not know that could be done, but I was glad for any help I could get at this point.Within a few moments, the carpenter showed up. As he got out of his truck, I could see a sly smile smeared all over his puss. I took it like a man; a man locked out of his own office.He spent about an hour taking the door off its hinges. Just as he finished my cell phone rang. A lady from the church with a spare church key was five minutes away.I never told the carpenter about the last minute key because he worked so hard taking the door off and then putting it back on again.Only one key in life really matters and that is Jesus, who said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6 KJV.)He is the only key that opens the door to heaven and I can never lose him.Reverend Snyder is currently ministering at the "Family of God
Fellowship" in Ocala, Florida. More of his articles are available
for reprint at his website:
Rev. Snyder is available as a guest speaker. He writes a weekly
column and is the author of "You Can Always Tell a Pastor; But Not Very Much " available at:
http://www.jamessnyderministries.com/
Keyword : key,humor,comedy,lock,success
If I Hurt You, Then I'm Sorry
Author : Skye Thomas
This statement has stopped many a war in my house. My oldest two children are two years apart in age and would fight about everything and nothing when they were little. One would anger the other and then deny that it ever happened. One would accidentally harm the other during play and not want to accept responsibility for the other's anger. Seldom did a day pass by that one of them wasn't screaming at the other for some horrible crime. It never failed when I would be brought in to mediate, they'd both claim they were innocent and the other was bad. How many times did one of them try to convince me that the other was lying and just trying to frame them for a crime they didn't commit. What's a parent to do?I really believe very strongly in teaching my kids to be accountable for their actions and choices. I want them to have their eyes wide open and to know full well that when they make a bad choice, bad things are likely to happen. And when they make good choices, that good things are likely to happen. I've worked really hard to get them to grasp the concept that if you treat people badly, they won't like you. Also, don't mess with other people's stuff without asking. Doesn't matter if you are a beautiful child of God. Nobody will want to hang out with you. Simple facts of life, but I don't see it being taught as much as I'd like. They say that we learn our social skills from our siblings and the neighborhood kids. We role model what our parents show us, but we practice it on our peers.One of the things I hated most in my own childhood was being forced to apologize for things I didn't do. I also hated being forced to apologize when I was simply defending my person or my property from a known attacker, mainly my younger sister and brother. I have also had too many adults in my life apologize for things they were not sorry for and then later they just repeat the same actions over and over again. When people say they're sorry, I often think to myself, "Good then don't do it again." Changing the behavior is so much more important to me then just offering up the words, "I'm sorry." I wanted to teach my children that you should never offer fake apologies and you should only apologize when you really mean it. However, I also wanted them to take responsibility for the environment of anger that they were helping to create. Somehow I had to find the perfect peace-making face-saving way to teach all of these concepts.What I finally stumbled across was a twisted compromise. When you are feeling falsely accused of something and the other person won't back down, then you simply say, "If I hurt you, then I'm sorry." Then you bite your tongue, hard. Don't say another word. Don't snicker and don't sneer. Just say it straight faced and let it go at that. You can tell yourself that since you did NOT hurt them, you are NOT sorry. They can tell themselves that you are sorry since they feel that you did hurt them. You don't actually confess to any crimes. Besides what if on some level without knowing it, you did hurt them in some way? Wouldn't you want to have said sorry for at least that tiny part? Soon peace began to show itself at my house. They would both smugly tell themselves that they had won the war of the day. I would get the much needed peace and tranquility that I needed.It didn't take long at all for me to see that this statement works just as well in the adult world too. Try it at work on a coworker some time and see how well they respond. Try it in your marriage. Try it with your extended family. It works on so many different levels. It can be said in light disagreements or in major all out family wars. It always works. On some level you mean it, except for the parts where you don't. Don't get into arguing over exactly what parts of the fight you are sorry for or taking blame for. Agree not to bicker over the details of the apology. You can expand it to say, "If during our disagreement, I have said or done anything that has hurt you, I am sorry. That was not my intention. I never wanted to hurt you." You are not lying and you are offering an olive branch. You really did not want to hurt the other person. You simply wanted to make your point. This allows you to save face but still begin the healing process. Try it sometime.I don't think it works for really heinous things like rape, murdering someone's loved one, arson, or all out military warfare. It only works for forgivable stuff. If you believe everything and everyone is forgivable, then you can try saying it, but I expect nobody will really buy into it. If Hitler said it to the Jewish peoples or Charles Manson said it to his victims' families, I doubt seriously that it would have created any real peace. When something truly ugly happens, you do have to flat out admit full guilt and a full real apology is mandatory before real forgiveness and healing can even begin to occur.This form of apology isn't for that sort of thing. This is meant only for the hundreds of petty squabbles that we get drawn into and it's a way to create a general atmosphere of peace and healing. This is for the people that you ultimately want to stay close to. This is an apology for those annoying people that you love with all your heart, but don't want to fight with anymore.Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's EdgeAbout The AuthorSkye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles and to sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To download free previews of her books, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net
Keyword : self improvement,attraction,communication,goals,motivation,writing,success,apologies
This statement has stopped many a war in my house. My oldest two children are two years apart in age and would fight about everything and nothing when they were little. One would anger the other and then deny that it ever happened. One would accidentally harm the other during play and not want to accept responsibility for the other's anger. Seldom did a day pass by that one of them wasn't screaming at the other for some horrible crime. It never failed when I would be brought in to mediate, they'd both claim they were innocent and the other was bad. How many times did one of them try to convince me that the other was lying and just trying to frame them for a crime they didn't commit. What's a parent to do?I really believe very strongly in teaching my kids to be accountable for their actions and choices. I want them to have their eyes wide open and to know full well that when they make a bad choice, bad things are likely to happen. And when they make good choices, that good things are likely to happen. I've worked really hard to get them to grasp the concept that if you treat people badly, they won't like you. Also, don't mess with other people's stuff without asking. Doesn't matter if you are a beautiful child of God. Nobody will want to hang out with you. Simple facts of life, but I don't see it being taught as much as I'd like. They say that we learn our social skills from our siblings and the neighborhood kids. We role model what our parents show us, but we practice it on our peers.One of the things I hated most in my own childhood was being forced to apologize for things I didn't do. I also hated being forced to apologize when I was simply defending my person or my property from a known attacker, mainly my younger sister and brother. I have also had too many adults in my life apologize for things they were not sorry for and then later they just repeat the same actions over and over again. When people say they're sorry, I often think to myself, "Good then don't do it again." Changing the behavior is so much more important to me then just offering up the words, "I'm sorry." I wanted to teach my children that you should never offer fake apologies and you should only apologize when you really mean it. However, I also wanted them to take responsibility for the environment of anger that they were helping to create. Somehow I had to find the perfect peace-making face-saving way to teach all of these concepts.What I finally stumbled across was a twisted compromise. When you are feeling falsely accused of something and the other person won't back down, then you simply say, "If I hurt you, then I'm sorry." Then you bite your tongue, hard. Don't say another word. Don't snicker and don't sneer. Just say it straight faced and let it go at that. You can tell yourself that since you did NOT hurt them, you are NOT sorry. They can tell themselves that you are sorry since they feel that you did hurt them. You don't actually confess to any crimes. Besides what if on some level without knowing it, you did hurt them in some way? Wouldn't you want to have said sorry for at least that tiny part? Soon peace began to show itself at my house. They would both smugly tell themselves that they had won the war of the day. I would get the much needed peace and tranquility that I needed.It didn't take long at all for me to see that this statement works just as well in the adult world too. Try it at work on a coworker some time and see how well they respond. Try it in your marriage. Try it with your extended family. It works on so many different levels. It can be said in light disagreements or in major all out family wars. It always works. On some level you mean it, except for the parts where you don't. Don't get into arguing over exactly what parts of the fight you are sorry for or taking blame for. Agree not to bicker over the details of the apology. You can expand it to say, "If during our disagreement, I have said or done anything that has hurt you, I am sorry. That was not my intention. I never wanted to hurt you." You are not lying and you are offering an olive branch. You really did not want to hurt the other person. You simply wanted to make your point. This allows you to save face but still begin the healing process. Try it sometime.I don't think it works for really heinous things like rape, murdering someone's loved one, arson, or all out military warfare. It only works for forgivable stuff. If you believe everything and everyone is forgivable, then you can try saying it, but I expect nobody will really buy into it. If Hitler said it to the Jewish peoples or Charles Manson said it to his victims' families, I doubt seriously that it would have created any real peace. When something truly ugly happens, you do have to flat out admit full guilt and a full real apology is mandatory before real forgiveness and healing can even begin to occur.This form of apology isn't for that sort of thing. This is meant only for the hundreds of petty squabbles that we get drawn into and it's a way to create a general atmosphere of peace and healing. This is for the people that you ultimately want to stay close to. This is an apology for those annoying people that you love with all your heart, but don't want to fight with anymore.Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's EdgeAbout The AuthorSkye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles and to sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To download free previews of her books, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net
Keyword : self improvement,attraction,communication,goals,motivation,writing,success,apologies
Arranging Stepping-Stones
Author : Steve Brunkhorst
The greatest achievements were obtained by those who took one step after the next. They resolved to succeed, and moved little by little toward a worthwhile goal.Temporary obstacles in one situation are very often stepping stones to remarkable blessings. Be grateful even for setbacks, for each contains the seed of an equal or greater blessing.By infusing your thoughts with love and faith, you will build the tenacity and spiritual fitness needed to meet every obstacle with resolve. You will greet each morning with anticipation. Your God-given purpose will sparkle in your eyes and fill your heart with authentic joy.Even the most mundane tasks can be viewed as small stepping stones on a far-reaching journey. Like small brushstrokes in a beautiful painting, each small action will contribute to its perfection; craft each one with care and excellence.Our stepping stones, arranged carefully, place us in an advantageous position for moving forward. They become part of a pathway filled with beautiful rewards today and tomorrow.Ask yourself: What are the stepping stones I can see now that could lead toward my goals? How can I best arrange them so that my next step brings me nearer to my desired achievements?It doesn't matter if the stream is narrow or wide. Your goal may be attainable next week or seem years beyond the horizon. There is always that first stepping-stone to start you on the journey.Faith places every stepping stone within reach. May the love and faith in your heart illuminate the path before you today. Step forward, and you'll be on your way!© Copyright 2005 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Get the next issue by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com
Keyword : Stones,stepping-stones,stepping stones,achievements,worthwhile goal,obstacles,authentic joy,Achieve
The greatest achievements were obtained by those who took one step after the next. They resolved to succeed, and moved little by little toward a worthwhile goal.Temporary obstacles in one situation are very often stepping stones to remarkable blessings. Be grateful even for setbacks, for each contains the seed of an equal or greater blessing.By infusing your thoughts with love and faith, you will build the tenacity and spiritual fitness needed to meet every obstacle with resolve. You will greet each morning with anticipation. Your God-given purpose will sparkle in your eyes and fill your heart with authentic joy.Even the most mundane tasks can be viewed as small stepping stones on a far-reaching journey. Like small brushstrokes in a beautiful painting, each small action will contribute to its perfection; craft each one with care and excellence.Our stepping stones, arranged carefully, place us in an advantageous position for moving forward. They become part of a pathway filled with beautiful rewards today and tomorrow.Ask yourself: What are the stepping stones I can see now that could lead toward my goals? How can I best arrange them so that my next step brings me nearer to my desired achievements?It doesn't matter if the stream is narrow or wide. Your goal may be attainable next week or seem years beyond the horizon. There is always that first stepping-stone to start you on the journey.Faith places every stepping stone within reach. May the love and faith in your heart illuminate the path before you today. Step forward, and you'll be on your way!© Copyright 2005 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Get the next issue by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com
Keyword : Stones,stepping-stones,stepping stones,achievements,worthwhile goal,obstacles,authentic joy,Achieve
Three Bricklayers
Author : Catherine Pulsifer
The story of the three bricklayers has been around for many years. The reason it continues to be told is the messages that the story tells. The following is the story of The Three Bricklayers:"Once there were 3 bricklayers. Each one of them was asked what they were doing.The first man answered gruffly, 'I'm laying bricks.'The second man replied, 'I'm putting up a wall.'But the third man said enthusiastically and with pride, 'I'm building a cathedral.'" --Author UnknownThis story clearly reveals two secrets of success:1. Attitude - Your attitude towards whatever you are doing determines your ultimate level of success. Having enthusiasm and pride in what you are doing will show in your work. Your attitude is one of the most important things that you control. You choose your attitude each and every day.And the choice you make will determine your success.2. Ability to See the Bigger Picture - Being able to see the end result, rather than just the task, eliminates obstacles, focuses your energy, and provides motivation to excel. At times our focus is only on the immediate task. When we change our focus on the bigger picture or the end result it provides motivation to continue, it inspires solutions to challenges.To summarize, when you face challenges, when you feel discouraged, when you feel like you will never reach success, remember the story of The Three Bricklayers and look at your attitude and visualize your end result!About the Author:
Catherine Pulsifer is one of the editors of Words of Wisdom 4 U, http://www.wow4u.com.
The story of the three bricklayers has been around for many years. The reason it continues to be told is the messages that the story tells. The following is the story of The Three Bricklayers:"Once there were 3 bricklayers. Each one of them was asked what they were doing.The first man answered gruffly, 'I'm laying bricks.'The second man replied, 'I'm putting up a wall.'But the third man said enthusiastically and with pride, 'I'm building a cathedral.'" --Author UnknownThis story clearly reveals two secrets of success:1. Attitude - Your attitude towards whatever you are doing determines your ultimate level of success. Having enthusiasm and pride in what you are doing will show in your work. Your attitude is one of the most important things that you control. You choose your attitude each and every day.And the choice you make will determine your success.2. Ability to See the Bigger Picture - Being able to see the end result, rather than just the task, eliminates obstacles, focuses your energy, and provides motivation to excel. At times our focus is only on the immediate task. When we change our focus on the bigger picture or the end result it provides motivation to continue, it inspires solutions to challenges.To summarize, when you face challenges, when you feel discouraged, when you feel like you will never reach success, remember the story of The Three Bricklayers and look at your attitude and visualize your end result!About the Author:
Catherine Pulsifer is one of the editors of Words of Wisdom 4 U, http://www.wow4u.com.
You will find a collection of inspirational quotes, inspirational poems and more at Words of Wisdom 4 U!
Keyword : attitude,success,story,enthusiasm,pride,choice,control,motivation,inspires,end result
Wow a Butterfly!
Author : Kenia Morales
Okay, I am sure that you clicked on this title out of curiosity. Wow a butterfly; what would a butterfly have to do with self help content? And you are right. Not a thing! But it is the phrase that my daughter used when she saw a butterfly while playing outside. She said it with so much excitement that I could not help but feel excited for her too.Now, I know it sounds kind of cute. But, what I am trying to communicate is that children seem so happy because they are overall excited. They get excited with a toy, an animal, a game, a hug, a friend etc. They are happy to just wake up another day; they have so much to look forward to (anything).As adults we can also appreciate the beauty of a butterfly but, I am not quite sure we would get so excited. We have seen butterflies more times than them but, most importantly life in general gets on our way not allowing us to have enough time to contemplate. Those who even dare to dream out loud are often discouraged by peers. Why? We have all bought in to this notion that life is hard. Which is partly true but, everything is not terrible. Sometimes we overlook the good things.So what should you do about it? Follow your dreams, be open to new experiences, make new friends, stand up for your beliefs, have hobbies etc. If you follow these simple tips you will soon have some excitement and happiness in your life.Spice it up a little,Kenia Morales----------------------------------------------You may reprint this article as long as no changes are made without permission and hyperlink is maintained active.Kenia Morales is the publisher of online magazine http://kpatra.com "For Every Aspect of Today's Woman. Visit her site to find a variety of women related issues and topics" click here http://www.kpatra.com/keniascolumn.htm to find Kenia's little piece of heaven her inspirational column.
Keyword : excitement, motivation, self help
Okay, I am sure that you clicked on this title out of curiosity. Wow a butterfly; what would a butterfly have to do with self help content? And you are right. Not a thing! But it is the phrase that my daughter used when she saw a butterfly while playing outside. She said it with so much excitement that I could not help but feel excited for her too.Now, I know it sounds kind of cute. But, what I am trying to communicate is that children seem so happy because they are overall excited. They get excited with a toy, an animal, a game, a hug, a friend etc. They are happy to just wake up another day; they have so much to look forward to (anything).As adults we can also appreciate the beauty of a butterfly but, I am not quite sure we would get so excited. We have seen butterflies more times than them but, most importantly life in general gets on our way not allowing us to have enough time to contemplate. Those who even dare to dream out loud are often discouraged by peers. Why? We have all bought in to this notion that life is hard. Which is partly true but, everything is not terrible. Sometimes we overlook the good things.So what should you do about it? Follow your dreams, be open to new experiences, make new friends, stand up for your beliefs, have hobbies etc. If you follow these simple tips you will soon have some excitement and happiness in your life.Spice it up a little,Kenia Morales----------------------------------------------You may reprint this article as long as no changes are made without permission and hyperlink is maintained active.Kenia Morales is the publisher of online magazine http://kpatra.com "For Every Aspect of Today's Woman. Visit her site to find a variety of women related issues and topics" click here http://www.kpatra.com/keniascolumn.htm to find Kenia's little piece of heaven her inspirational column.
Keyword : excitement, motivation, self help
Everyone Has Been Hurt... Part 4
Author : Vaughn Pascal
Continued...After that I stayed with him still and when he would hit me I became numb. And I would also fight back even harder. I wouldn't give in till he hurt me bad enough then I would give up. We would end up on the floor in knock down, drag out fights that a man and a man would have. That became my way of life. He ended up talking me into getting pregnant again, but I thought of it too, so stupid.I lost everything, my grandpa kicked me out because I refused to leave him and I had no where to go, so I moved into a hotel. On Christmas Eve that year he came over and we got into it again, the next day Christmas Day I lost that baby. I moved in with friends after that. I hated holidays. We stayed together a little longer. I felt I had no one. He did start cheating and I did find out.One day when his sister and I went to her friend's, we came back and as soon as I walked in he grabbed me by the hair, bounced my head off the door frame, and drug me by my hair into his room, his sister tried to stop him and he hit her repeatedly, his mom finally broke it up. I broke up with him and it was for good. He called and begged me to talk to him to hear him out, I said it will do no good but I will listen to what you have to say. We were talking and I told him I was done, a guy walked across the road in front of me and I looked at him, just a glance and he blew up.We got into it I told him take me home he told me he was going to sleep with his sister's friend, I spit on his truck and he punched me square in the nose, instantly blood began to pour, and I kept passing out he rushed me to the ER and they told me my nose was broken, and if it would have hit an inch farther one way or the other it could have killed me, kids started bawling when they saw me and there was blood all over me and my clothes, I was done. I wouldn't press charges but I told him that is it never again and I meant that, and I stuck to it.Vaughn Pascal
Keyword : article submission, articles, writers, writing, publishing, ezine, email marketing, email newsletter, email
Continued...After that I stayed with him still and when he would hit me I became numb. And I would also fight back even harder. I wouldn't give in till he hurt me bad enough then I would give up. We would end up on the floor in knock down, drag out fights that a man and a man would have. That became my way of life. He ended up talking me into getting pregnant again, but I thought of it too, so stupid.I lost everything, my grandpa kicked me out because I refused to leave him and I had no where to go, so I moved into a hotel. On Christmas Eve that year he came over and we got into it again, the next day Christmas Day I lost that baby. I moved in with friends after that. I hated holidays. We stayed together a little longer. I felt I had no one. He did start cheating and I did find out.One day when his sister and I went to her friend's, we came back and as soon as I walked in he grabbed me by the hair, bounced my head off the door frame, and drug me by my hair into his room, his sister tried to stop him and he hit her repeatedly, his mom finally broke it up. I broke up with him and it was for good. He called and begged me to talk to him to hear him out, I said it will do no good but I will listen to what you have to say. We were talking and I told him I was done, a guy walked across the road in front of me and I looked at him, just a glance and he blew up.We got into it I told him take me home he told me he was going to sleep with his sister's friend, I spit on his truck and he punched me square in the nose, instantly blood began to pour, and I kept passing out he rushed me to the ER and they told me my nose was broken, and if it would have hit an inch farther one way or the other it could have killed me, kids started bawling when they saw me and there was blood all over me and my clothes, I was done. I wouldn't press charges but I told him that is it never again and I meant that, and I stuck to it.Vaughn Pascal
Keyword : article submission, articles, writers, writing, publishing, ezine, email marketing, email newsletter, email
Tim McGraw had it Right - Live Like You Are Dying!
Author : Greg Ryan
Chorus:
An' he said: "I went ski diving, I went rocky
mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu
Man Chu"
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."One of the latest songs by Tim McGraw talks about
a man in his forties with cancer. Who began to
live his life has if he had only days to live. And
all he hope for others was, "Someday, I hope you
get the chance, to live like you were dying." Are
you? Are you living a life like you are dying? I
don't mean in the physical sense, how about the
spiritual realm. The bible talks about dying to
self by living for Jesus.Each day we are challenged to make decisions that
lead us away from Jesus or directly towards. Yet,
which seems easier? Dying to self takes sacrifice,
trust and faith in God. It also means letting go
of the things of this world.I have always tried to live my life with no
regrets when I look back at the end of the day.
And maybe on my tombstone it will say just that
simple phrase, "No regrets". Yet, one of the
biggest daily challenges I face is dying to my
flesh or things of this world. And the only way I
can win the over them is ask Jesus for help. When
was the last time you just awoke in the morning
and ask, help? Help me Lord today to live for you
and not for this world. Be with me Lord every
second this day and help me make decisions that
bring me closer to you."Each day brings new decisions and new challenges
when pursuing a relationship with Jesus and it
means we have to die to self each and everyday.
But, it also means we are promised tomorrow, life
is not to be taken for granted. It could change in
a moment like it did for the guy in the song.This week love a little deeper, speak a little
sweeter and if you need to forgive when you were
denying doing it. It maybe then when God in heaven
says to you, "Someday, I hope you give yourself
the chance, to live like you were dying."Greg Ryan is a best selling author of the Changing from the INSIDE OUT series. A powerful five step plan to better your life, get healthier, and have more energy!
For FREE mini Course click here! http://www.resolutions.bz
Keyword : Tim Mecgraw, God, motivational, inspirational
Chorus:
An' he said: "I went ski diving, I went rocky
mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu
Man Chu"
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."One of the latest songs by Tim McGraw talks about
a man in his forties with cancer. Who began to
live his life has if he had only days to live. And
all he hope for others was, "Someday, I hope you
get the chance, to live like you were dying." Are
you? Are you living a life like you are dying? I
don't mean in the physical sense, how about the
spiritual realm. The bible talks about dying to
self by living for Jesus.Each day we are challenged to make decisions that
lead us away from Jesus or directly towards. Yet,
which seems easier? Dying to self takes sacrifice,
trust and faith in God. It also means letting go
of the things of this world.I have always tried to live my life with no
regrets when I look back at the end of the day.
And maybe on my tombstone it will say just that
simple phrase, "No regrets". Yet, one of the
biggest daily challenges I face is dying to my
flesh or things of this world. And the only way I
can win the over them is ask Jesus for help. When
was the last time you just awoke in the morning
and ask, help? Help me Lord today to live for you
and not for this world. Be with me Lord every
second this day and help me make decisions that
bring me closer to you."Each day brings new decisions and new challenges
when pursuing a relationship with Jesus and it
means we have to die to self each and everyday.
But, it also means we are promised tomorrow, life
is not to be taken for granted. It could change in
a moment like it did for the guy in the song.This week love a little deeper, speak a little
sweeter and if you need to forgive when you were
denying doing it. It maybe then when God in heaven
says to you, "Someday, I hope you give yourself
the chance, to live like you were dying."Greg Ryan is a best selling author of the Changing from the INSIDE OUT series. A powerful five step plan to better your life, get healthier, and have more energy!
For FREE mini Course click here! http://www.resolutions.bz
Keyword : Tim Mecgraw, God, motivational, inspirational
Changing the World... One Book at a Time
Author : Arielle Ford
Ever read a book that's changed your life? Most of the today's most beloved authors and spiritual teachers can recall a book that started them on the journey toward spirituality and success.In fact, that question has become the foundation for a new book club called the Transformational Book Circle (TBC), created by bestselling author and relationship expert Gay Hendricks.Hendricks says the inspiration came from a gathering at the home of Chicken Soup for the Soul author Jack Canfield's one evening when there happened to be many transformational leaders gathered. "The subject of books that changed your life came up and everyone had one," recalls Hendricks. "Their eyes would light up as they recounted the wisdom from these books and began to relive the story about how these books changed their lives. It was fascinating, especially since a number of the people there were authors who had also written bestselling books that have changed the lives of millions."Just thinking about the powerful transformation that books had brought to the lives of so many of the people in the forefront of spirituality today, Hendricks was reminded of the great power that is passed from generation to generation in books that are sometimes forgotten over time. He was curious to know more about how books of the past had inspired the people who inspired millions today.So Hendricks set out to ask Jack Canfield, Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch, Louise Hay, Doreen Virtue, Barbara DeAngelis, Kenny Loggins, Debbie Ford, Bill Harris, and many other transformational and spiritual leaders this question: "Which book changed your life?" And the answers surprised him."Every person I asked told me a remarkable story about how one or more books had opened the gateway to a new dimension. Nearly all of these books were virtually unheard of and many were hard to find," explains Hendricks.What began as a curious conversation evolved into the Transformational Book Circle, designed to be the world's first transformational reading community with books devoted to creating powerful changes in our lives. Hendricks asked many to suggest a book that the Transformational Book Circle could republish each month, along with additional inspirational material to further illuminate the lessons of the book. Says Hendricks. "Our goal is to build a community of people around the world who are reading the same book at the same time. This is a potent way to create change."The bestselling authors participating in this project are people who have devoted their lives to assisting others in transformation, so they are delighted to pass on the wisdom of the ones who came before them.Louise Hay, author of many bestselling books and founder of Hay House Publishing, attributes the genesis of her success and evolution to a book that changed the way she views life. "Many years ago I read a book by an author who opened my eyes, and my heart," recounts Hay. "I believe that her book helped make me who I am. Her work is obscure, not easy to find these days, but her message is just as powerful today as it was many years ago. As someone who has great respect for the power of the written word, it is a thrill to see her work come to life again through the Transformational Book Club."The book that changed her life, ultimately, contributed to helping her change millions of lives... and will continue to do so. Same is true for Neale Donald Walsh.Millions of people have read his Conversations with God series, yet Walsh credits a certain other book for preparing him to receive the messages he has shared with so many. The Transformational Book Circle offers its members an exclusive edition of The Power of a Single Thought, available only to its members."Some authors more than others inspire us to honor the true voice within," says Walsh, the modern messenger who helped shape the way we commune with Divine Source. "Some authors open us up and clear us of doubt while filling us with hope. I was blessed to read a book that helped prepare me to receive insight and empowered me to share it."Walsh is happy to share the book that helped shape his own life's work with his faithful readers, and newcomers, through the Transformational Book Circle. And so is Kenny Loggins. As one of the most successful singer/songwriters in the world, his powerful, soul-stirring songs such as "This Is It," have changed many lives. "Music is a universal language, yet sharing the message of a special book is a powerful way to unite people and create change in ourselves and our world."The Transformational Book Circle couldn't come at a better time. In a world beset with so many challenges, inspiration is a welcome friend to members who join the circle. Each month they receive one life-changing book along with a CD that features exercises to bring the book's material to life, spoken by the famous author who recommended it. Members will also have access to a web-seminar with the transformational luminaries, learning from them how their lives were changed and improved by the book. Most importantly, everyone who is part of this circle becomes part of a growing community seeking and devoted to transformation. (To find out more, please visit www.transformationalbookcircle.com)"This is a way to create communities of people who believe that personal and global transformation is possible," says Hendricks, who is also co-founder of home delivery DVD club, The Spiritual Cinema Circle, which is dedicated to movies with heart and soul (www.spiritualcinemacircle.com). "The written word is a power tool for changing ourselves and our world."Arielle Ford has long been devoted to bringing the work of top transformational authors to the public. She has worked with icons such as Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson and Jack Canfield. She is author of seven books including Everything You Should Know About Publishing, Publicity, Promotion & Building a Platform: A Step-by-Step Guide for Authors. http://www.EverythingYouShouldKnow.com. She is a founding partner of The Spiritual Cinema Circle: http://www.spiritualcinemacircle.com and the Transformational Book Circle. http://www.transformationalbookcircle.com.
Keyword : Transformational,Books,Book,Circle,Bestselling,Author,Spirituality,Arielle Ford,Deepak,Gay
Ever read a book that's changed your life? Most of the today's most beloved authors and spiritual teachers can recall a book that started them on the journey toward spirituality and success.In fact, that question has become the foundation for a new book club called the Transformational Book Circle (TBC), created by bestselling author and relationship expert Gay Hendricks.Hendricks says the inspiration came from a gathering at the home of Chicken Soup for the Soul author Jack Canfield's one evening when there happened to be many transformational leaders gathered. "The subject of books that changed your life came up and everyone had one," recalls Hendricks. "Their eyes would light up as they recounted the wisdom from these books and began to relive the story about how these books changed their lives. It was fascinating, especially since a number of the people there were authors who had also written bestselling books that have changed the lives of millions."Just thinking about the powerful transformation that books had brought to the lives of so many of the people in the forefront of spirituality today, Hendricks was reminded of the great power that is passed from generation to generation in books that are sometimes forgotten over time. He was curious to know more about how books of the past had inspired the people who inspired millions today.So Hendricks set out to ask Jack Canfield, Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch, Louise Hay, Doreen Virtue, Barbara DeAngelis, Kenny Loggins, Debbie Ford, Bill Harris, and many other transformational and spiritual leaders this question: "Which book changed your life?" And the answers surprised him."Every person I asked told me a remarkable story about how one or more books had opened the gateway to a new dimension. Nearly all of these books were virtually unheard of and many were hard to find," explains Hendricks.What began as a curious conversation evolved into the Transformational Book Circle, designed to be the world's first transformational reading community with books devoted to creating powerful changes in our lives. Hendricks asked many to suggest a book that the Transformational Book Circle could republish each month, along with additional inspirational material to further illuminate the lessons of the book. Says Hendricks. "Our goal is to build a community of people around the world who are reading the same book at the same time. This is a potent way to create change."The bestselling authors participating in this project are people who have devoted their lives to assisting others in transformation, so they are delighted to pass on the wisdom of the ones who came before them.Louise Hay, author of many bestselling books and founder of Hay House Publishing, attributes the genesis of her success and evolution to a book that changed the way she views life. "Many years ago I read a book by an author who opened my eyes, and my heart," recounts Hay. "I believe that her book helped make me who I am. Her work is obscure, not easy to find these days, but her message is just as powerful today as it was many years ago. As someone who has great respect for the power of the written word, it is a thrill to see her work come to life again through the Transformational Book Club."The book that changed her life, ultimately, contributed to helping her change millions of lives... and will continue to do so. Same is true for Neale Donald Walsh.Millions of people have read his Conversations with God series, yet Walsh credits a certain other book for preparing him to receive the messages he has shared with so many. The Transformational Book Circle offers its members an exclusive edition of The Power of a Single Thought, available only to its members."Some authors more than others inspire us to honor the true voice within," says Walsh, the modern messenger who helped shape the way we commune with Divine Source. "Some authors open us up and clear us of doubt while filling us with hope. I was blessed to read a book that helped prepare me to receive insight and empowered me to share it."Walsh is happy to share the book that helped shape his own life's work with his faithful readers, and newcomers, through the Transformational Book Circle. And so is Kenny Loggins. As one of the most successful singer/songwriters in the world, his powerful, soul-stirring songs such as "This Is It," have changed many lives. "Music is a universal language, yet sharing the message of a special book is a powerful way to unite people and create change in ourselves and our world."The Transformational Book Circle couldn't come at a better time. In a world beset with so many challenges, inspiration is a welcome friend to members who join the circle. Each month they receive one life-changing book along with a CD that features exercises to bring the book's material to life, spoken by the famous author who recommended it. Members will also have access to a web-seminar with the transformational luminaries, learning from them how their lives were changed and improved by the book. Most importantly, everyone who is part of this circle becomes part of a growing community seeking and devoted to transformation. (To find out more, please visit www.transformationalbookcircle.com)"This is a way to create communities of people who believe that personal and global transformation is possible," says Hendricks, who is also co-founder of home delivery DVD club, The Spiritual Cinema Circle, which is dedicated to movies with heart and soul (www.spiritualcinemacircle.com). "The written word is a power tool for changing ourselves and our world."Arielle Ford has long been devoted to bringing the work of top transformational authors to the public. She has worked with icons such as Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson and Jack Canfield. She is author of seven books including Everything You Should Know About Publishing, Publicity, Promotion & Building a Platform: A Step-by-Step Guide for Authors. http://www.EverythingYouShouldKnow.com. She is a founding partner of The Spiritual Cinema Circle: http://www.spiritualcinemacircle.com and the Transformational Book Circle. http://www.transformationalbookcircle.com.
Keyword : Transformational,Books,Book,Circle,Bestselling,Author,Spirituality,Arielle Ford,Deepak,Gay
Forgiveness Is The Antidote
Author : Vicki Miller
"If unresolved anger is a toxin to the spirit, forgiveness is the antidote." - Brian L. SeawardRecently I caught a portion of a television show about individuals working to make changes in their lives. The particular portion that I viewed dealt with two sisters that had not spoken to each other in five years. Due to some misunderstanding in their past, both sisters were angry and unable to forgive each other.Why is it so difficult for us to forgive? It is a common belief that forgiving someone that has hurt us, (or we assume has hurt us), is the same as being a victim again. We hang onto our anger and resentment as an illusion of control. But instead of controlling the other person, we are harming ourselves. As Brian Seaward says: "Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else, it is something you do for yourself. Forgiveness sets you free again." After five years of being stuck in anger and self-contempt, the two sisters in this show were finally able to forgive themselves and each other. You could see the relief and release of tension in their bodies as they forgave and shed the burden they had carried for so long.Each time we hold anger and resentment in our hearts, we are giving our power away. We are staying stuck in the past. The strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive another person or oneself. On average, individuals become angry 15 times per day primarily due to unmet expectations. Think of the amount of poison and personal power loss we experience, if we hold onto anger as a result of these occurrences! Living with resentment keeps us stuck, while forgiveness helps us move forward.Forgiveness is a choice. It is an internal act of the heart. Are you willing to continue wasting your energy and your health by holding anger that impacts only you? If your answer is 'NO", then release the anger and reclaim your power. Who benefits the most from forgiveness? You do!Like the two sisters, are you harboring any old resentments or anger? Ask yourself if there are any old resentments that are stealing your power today. Where are you stuck in the past? Practice forgiveness by starting with small hurts. Consciously make the decision to unburden and detach yourself from any painful past memories and choose to live in the present. Give yourself this gift!Vicki Miller / Copyright August 2005As a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what's most important to them and prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in their way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (coach.v.miller@verizon.net), to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute telephone coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at http://www.thrivingthroughchange.com.
Keyword : forgiveness, anger, resentmment, personal power, letting go, releasing anger, present moment, hurts
"If unresolved anger is a toxin to the spirit, forgiveness is the antidote." - Brian L. SeawardRecently I caught a portion of a television show about individuals working to make changes in their lives. The particular portion that I viewed dealt with two sisters that had not spoken to each other in five years. Due to some misunderstanding in their past, both sisters were angry and unable to forgive each other.Why is it so difficult for us to forgive? It is a common belief that forgiving someone that has hurt us, (or we assume has hurt us), is the same as being a victim again. We hang onto our anger and resentment as an illusion of control. But instead of controlling the other person, we are harming ourselves. As Brian Seaward says: "Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else, it is something you do for yourself. Forgiveness sets you free again." After five years of being stuck in anger and self-contempt, the two sisters in this show were finally able to forgive themselves and each other. You could see the relief and release of tension in their bodies as they forgave and shed the burden they had carried for so long.Each time we hold anger and resentment in our hearts, we are giving our power away. We are staying stuck in the past. The strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive another person or oneself. On average, individuals become angry 15 times per day primarily due to unmet expectations. Think of the amount of poison and personal power loss we experience, if we hold onto anger as a result of these occurrences! Living with resentment keeps us stuck, while forgiveness helps us move forward.Forgiveness is a choice. It is an internal act of the heart. Are you willing to continue wasting your energy and your health by holding anger that impacts only you? If your answer is 'NO", then release the anger and reclaim your power. Who benefits the most from forgiveness? You do!Like the two sisters, are you harboring any old resentments or anger? Ask yourself if there are any old resentments that are stealing your power today. Where are you stuck in the past? Practice forgiveness by starting with small hurts. Consciously make the decision to unburden and detach yourself from any painful past memories and choose to live in the present. Give yourself this gift!Vicki Miller / Copyright August 2005As a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what's most important to them and prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in their way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (coach.v.miller@verizon.net), to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute telephone coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at http://www.thrivingthroughchange.com.
Keyword : forgiveness, anger, resentmment, personal power, letting go, releasing anger, present moment, hurts
Time for Sunshine
Author : Joseph Ghabi
Having spring around makes you feel different after such a long winter journey. How well do you feel when you have a little bit of sunshine in your life? What effect does it do have on our psyche? The power of sunshine brings us a lot of comfort, optimism, self-confidence and of course a smile. Imagine how great if would be if we were so positive all year round!Living like this is possible if you really think about it. In order to exist in such a state of happiness though, we must have sunshine radiating from within ourselves, shining from our hearts, our minds and from our souls. I bet many of you are reading this now and saying "Yeah that is easier said than done!" And what do we say to that well, in the end that's your choice and if you think that way then your own life will reflect that attitude of yours!In order to make 'sunshine' or rather, 'light' a part of our being It is so important that you watch your thoughts, your words and your actions so that you do not contradict what you really feel you'd like to create in your own life. Watch your thoughts and really become aware of how many negative thoughts pass through your mind about yourself and other people around you. Watch to see how often you gossip about other people and when you become aware of it you will see how often it is actually attached with feelings of jealousy, envy and insecurity about yourself.You should also take a close look at your 'intention'. How many of you do something for another person without expecting to receive something in return? It might not even have to be a material or physical thing you expect, expecting recognition or acknowledgement for what you have done is enough to create conditions on your intention. Think about it! We may not always pay attention to what our true intentions are behind our words thoughts and actions because many of us are not aware of the power and effect they have when it comes to creating our lives.Putting all of what I have said together, it seems that most of us are creating monsters inside of us just by simply talking, thinking and not putting our heart out with the right intention towards helping someone else. All of these things are born from a 'negative' attitude and will not help us in any way at all when it comes to bringing a brighter 'sunshine' into our lives. If you took all your negative attitudes in one hand and measured your need to feel 'sunshine' in the other, you would see how both these elements really contradict each other.Be brave and break your patterns and your habits this spring and by doing so you will allow the true sunshine to take place by radiating out from your heart and into your life and the lives of the people who are around you!I will leave you with that for now until next time and allow sunshine to shine your life.Copyright © Joseph Ghabi
http://www.freespiritcentre.infoAbout the Author:Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the 'Free Spirit Centre' website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 800 articles on the site.Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.
Keyword : inspiration, motivation, self-help, personal growth, personal development
Having spring around makes you feel different after such a long winter journey. How well do you feel when you have a little bit of sunshine in your life? What effect does it do have on our psyche? The power of sunshine brings us a lot of comfort, optimism, self-confidence and of course a smile. Imagine how great if would be if we were so positive all year round!Living like this is possible if you really think about it. In order to exist in such a state of happiness though, we must have sunshine radiating from within ourselves, shining from our hearts, our minds and from our souls. I bet many of you are reading this now and saying "Yeah that is easier said than done!" And what do we say to that well, in the end that's your choice and if you think that way then your own life will reflect that attitude of yours!In order to make 'sunshine' or rather, 'light' a part of our being It is so important that you watch your thoughts, your words and your actions so that you do not contradict what you really feel you'd like to create in your own life. Watch your thoughts and really become aware of how many negative thoughts pass through your mind about yourself and other people around you. Watch to see how often you gossip about other people and when you become aware of it you will see how often it is actually attached with feelings of jealousy, envy and insecurity about yourself.You should also take a close look at your 'intention'. How many of you do something for another person without expecting to receive something in return? It might not even have to be a material or physical thing you expect, expecting recognition or acknowledgement for what you have done is enough to create conditions on your intention. Think about it! We may not always pay attention to what our true intentions are behind our words thoughts and actions because many of us are not aware of the power and effect they have when it comes to creating our lives.Putting all of what I have said together, it seems that most of us are creating monsters inside of us just by simply talking, thinking and not putting our heart out with the right intention towards helping someone else. All of these things are born from a 'negative' attitude and will not help us in any way at all when it comes to bringing a brighter 'sunshine' into our lives. If you took all your negative attitudes in one hand and measured your need to feel 'sunshine' in the other, you would see how both these elements really contradict each other.Be brave and break your patterns and your habits this spring and by doing so you will allow the true sunshine to take place by radiating out from your heart and into your life and the lives of the people who are around you!I will leave you with that for now until next time and allow sunshine to shine your life.Copyright © Joseph Ghabi
http://www.freespiritcentre.infoAbout the Author:Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the 'Free Spirit Centre' website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 800 articles on the site.Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.
Keyword : inspiration, motivation, self-help, personal growth, personal development
The Joy of Wishing Upon A Star
Author : Brook Noel
Who said that every wish would be heard and answeredwhen wished on the morning star?Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it;look what it's done so far.What's so amazing that keeps us stargazingand what do we think we might see?Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection;The lovers, the dreamers, and me~ The Rainbow Connection (sung by Kermit in the Muppets movie)Yesterday I had a wonderful "moment" with my daughter. She has just advanced to the next level in her voice lessons. (This is the only lesson/club she is currently involved in, so it is the subject of much conversation.) She was complaining about the "old songs" she has to sing. She had hoped this next level would bring some "pop" music.As a mom would do, I asked her, "How bad can it be?" She proceeded to get her music book. After beautifully belting out "On Top of Spaghetti," "Hello Muddh, Hello Fadduh!," "Castle on a Cloud," and "Second Hand Rose," she launched into "The Rainbow Connection." I immediately started to clap and stomp my feet, looking more like 10 years of age than she does."Yes, mother?" She seemed surprised by my excitement."I love this song!" I said, quickly joining in. As we sung the chorus above, memories began drifting into today. Memories I might not have recalled if it wasn't for this "old music" in my daughter's voice lessons.We hit the last part of the song, and it affected me just as it had twenty years ago, when I watched the Muppet movie for the hundredth time.Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?I've heard them calling my name.I've heard it too many times to ignore itIt's something that I'm s'posed to doI can't recall what I thought a frog was trying to tell me at age 10, but I remember the words resonating. As we finished the song, Sammy said, "I love that ending, don't you?" I smiled as we launched into another one of my favorites, "Puff the Magic Dragon…"Re-reading those lyrics as an adult, I think I must have heard something similar to what to I hear today … a call to be something more—to challenge life—to live outloud.I learned the true value of "time" at a very young age. All of my grandparents had passed on before my birth or while I was a baby. My father would leave when I was eight-months-old. While I would see him "here and there" throughout the years, we would never develop a relationship before his death this past spring. I lost my one and only sibling 8 years ago. Perhaps nothing teaches us the bittersweet value of a moment—except lost moments.As each loss occurs, I embrace the now even more—truly acknowledging every second for the gift that it is. I strive to live in truth, honor, centeredness, passion, integrity, and love. And What's so amazing that keeps me stargazing… what do I think I might see?I don't know. But someday I'll find it… the lovers, the dreamers and me.Your turn:Every night this week, walk outside and wish upon a star. If the stars aren't visible, wish on the moon. If you can't see the moon, just throw a wish into the air—remembering what goes up must come down.The Change Your Life Challenge
http://www.changeyourlifechallenge.com
Who said that every wish would be heard and answeredwhen wished on the morning star?Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it;look what it's done so far.What's so amazing that keeps us stargazingand what do we think we might see?Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection;The lovers, the dreamers, and me~ The Rainbow Connection (sung by Kermit in the Muppets movie)Yesterday I had a wonderful "moment" with my daughter. She has just advanced to the next level in her voice lessons. (This is the only lesson/club she is currently involved in, so it is the subject of much conversation.) She was complaining about the "old songs" she has to sing. She had hoped this next level would bring some "pop" music.As a mom would do, I asked her, "How bad can it be?" She proceeded to get her music book. After beautifully belting out "On Top of Spaghetti," "Hello Muddh, Hello Fadduh!," "Castle on a Cloud," and "Second Hand Rose," she launched into "The Rainbow Connection." I immediately started to clap and stomp my feet, looking more like 10 years of age than she does."Yes, mother?" She seemed surprised by my excitement."I love this song!" I said, quickly joining in. As we sung the chorus above, memories began drifting into today. Memories I might not have recalled if it wasn't for this "old music" in my daughter's voice lessons.We hit the last part of the song, and it affected me just as it had twenty years ago, when I watched the Muppet movie for the hundredth time.Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?I've heard them calling my name.I've heard it too many times to ignore itIt's something that I'm s'posed to doI can't recall what I thought a frog was trying to tell me at age 10, but I remember the words resonating. As we finished the song, Sammy said, "I love that ending, don't you?" I smiled as we launched into another one of my favorites, "Puff the Magic Dragon…"Re-reading those lyrics as an adult, I think I must have heard something similar to what to I hear today … a call to be something more—to challenge life—to live outloud.I learned the true value of "time" at a very young age. All of my grandparents had passed on before my birth or while I was a baby. My father would leave when I was eight-months-old. While I would see him "here and there" throughout the years, we would never develop a relationship before his death this past spring. I lost my one and only sibling 8 years ago. Perhaps nothing teaches us the bittersweet value of a moment—except lost moments.As each loss occurs, I embrace the now even more—truly acknowledging every second for the gift that it is. I strive to live in truth, honor, centeredness, passion, integrity, and love. And What's so amazing that keeps me stargazing… what do I think I might see?I don't know. But someday I'll find it… the lovers, the dreamers and me.Your turn:Every night this week, walk outside and wish upon a star. If the stars aren't visible, wish on the moon. If you can't see the moon, just throw a wish into the air—remembering what goes up must come down.The Change Your Life Challenge
http://www.changeyourlifechallenge.com
Take control of your home, finances, relationships, clutter, time-managmenet and more with this 70 Day Program. Sign up for the free Challenge Weekly Newsletter and the motivational daily Good Morning.
Keyword : wish, dream, inspiration, goal setting, stars, wish upon a star, stargazing
I Remember When
Author : Phyllis Benton
I remember when the shoes on my feet were too small and hurt my feet or to big they wouldn't stay on—shoes that another child had worn out already. The clothes that people had given me, outdated and falling apart. Taking what cloths were left after my sister picked through the hand-me-downs and having only a thin worn out coat in the freezing winter to wear.I remember going to school and being laughed at because we were poor—walking home from school in tears—having no friends except the immediate neighbor kids to play with. Wishing that I had dolls to play with like the other girls. In the winter, sliding on hills on tire tubes and cardboard—having no sleds.I remember being cold in bed at night with only one wool blanket to keep me and my sister warm—the ice that hung from the nails coming through the roof. My hands and feet numb from the cold. Getting up in the morning hurrying to get to the wood stove to get warm in hopes there would be room for me with all the others.I remember of picking berries in the summer to sell and shoveling snow in the winter for neighbors to buy Christmas gifts—a candy bar for each one. I remember at Christmas when the few toys I received had already been played with. I remember of eating turkey for supper on Christmas that social services had brought the family.I remember the water being carried from the well and heated on the wood stove to bathe in. Being able to bathe only once a week in the steel tub—sharing the same water with my brothers and sisters. Wishing I could bathe in a real tub with running water—using as much hot water as I wanted.I remember the man that tried to molest me as a child. I remember the loneliness and heart-ache of the separation of my family—not knowing where my brothers and sisters were. Moved from home to home—having to share space, food, and a bed with other foster children. Being physically abused by a foster boy in one of the homes—running away to find help.I remember the abuse I endured as a young adult—emotionally drained and feeling useless—wanting to end the pain. Leaving everything behind with no place to go—no money or food—sleeping in a car—feeling alone. Having to find a new job and making new friends in a strange place.I remember the beatings in a new relationship and couldn't find a way out. The nightmares I still had from the past relationship. The guilt I felt with mixed emotions when I watched him die. Wanting to find someone to share my life and love with—wanting not to waste the rest of my life.I remember all those bad times—it made me the person I am today. The thing that is most important is God gave me life—a beautiful gift.Phyllis Benton, Living Nightmares of Abuse. Autobiography. An inspirational and emotional story of abuse. Survivor of emotional, sexual, and physical abuse.
Book will be available when released through publishamerica and other on line book stores. ISBN # 1-4137-9156-5.http://www.pdbenton.org
I remember when the shoes on my feet were too small and hurt my feet or to big they wouldn't stay on—shoes that another child had worn out already. The clothes that people had given me, outdated and falling apart. Taking what cloths were left after my sister picked through the hand-me-downs and having only a thin worn out coat in the freezing winter to wear.I remember going to school and being laughed at because we were poor—walking home from school in tears—having no friends except the immediate neighbor kids to play with. Wishing that I had dolls to play with like the other girls. In the winter, sliding on hills on tire tubes and cardboard—having no sleds.I remember being cold in bed at night with only one wool blanket to keep me and my sister warm—the ice that hung from the nails coming through the roof. My hands and feet numb from the cold. Getting up in the morning hurrying to get to the wood stove to get warm in hopes there would be room for me with all the others.I remember of picking berries in the summer to sell and shoveling snow in the winter for neighbors to buy Christmas gifts—a candy bar for each one. I remember at Christmas when the few toys I received had already been played with. I remember of eating turkey for supper on Christmas that social services had brought the family.I remember the water being carried from the well and heated on the wood stove to bathe in. Being able to bathe only once a week in the steel tub—sharing the same water with my brothers and sisters. Wishing I could bathe in a real tub with running water—using as much hot water as I wanted.I remember the man that tried to molest me as a child. I remember the loneliness and heart-ache of the separation of my family—not knowing where my brothers and sisters were. Moved from home to home—having to share space, food, and a bed with other foster children. Being physically abused by a foster boy in one of the homes—running away to find help.I remember the abuse I endured as a young adult—emotionally drained and feeling useless—wanting to end the pain. Leaving everything behind with no place to go—no money or food—sleeping in a car—feeling alone. Having to find a new job and making new friends in a strange place.I remember the beatings in a new relationship and couldn't find a way out. The nightmares I still had from the past relationship. The guilt I felt with mixed emotions when I watched him die. Wanting to find someone to share my life and love with—wanting not to waste the rest of my life.I remember all those bad times—it made me the person I am today. The thing that is most important is God gave me life—a beautiful gift.Phyllis Benton, Living Nightmares of Abuse. Autobiography. An inspirational and emotional story of abuse. Survivor of emotional, sexual, and physical abuse.
Book will be available when released through publishamerica and other on line book stores. ISBN # 1-4137-9156-5.http://www.pdbenton.org
http://www.freewebs.com/dianesfantasy/
Keyword : poverty, hunger, emotional and physical abuse, loneliness, survival, separation, molestation, foster
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