Author : Michael Lee
"The more you hate, the more you love."What an ironic statement. Whoever said those words must
have been drunk. The bottom line is this: It is extremely
difficult to like or love something that you despise.But what can we do to solve this dilemma? What if you're
trapped in an environment that you don't want to be involved
in? What if you're sick and tired of your job that you
feel like puking every time someone mentions your work?Of course, you take inspired and motivated action to
get out of your present rut and start living the life
you've always dreamed of.Guess what? It's not going to be easy. You will have to
come out of your comfort zones to discover potentials and
opportunities waiting for you. You have to conquer your
fear and take calculated risks. You have to stay focused
and persevere despite the difficulties you will encounter.Success doesn't come easy. It takes heart and passion. It
may also take some time before you can actually reap the
fruits of your labor.But how do you actually survive this stage? This is the
moment when you're working extra hard to reach your goals.
This is also the instance when you're enduring whatever
adversity hits you.For example, you're employed in a job that you hate. You
know deep inside that you would not like to stay in the
rat race throughout your life. So you decided to engage
in a part-time business or to study night courses. Good
move, my friend.So far so good. A few days later, time started running
out for you. Your family complains that you've never
spoken a word to them in such a long time. You're
getting crazy over your very hectic schedule. Soon
enough, your attitude changes negatively. You get mad
and frustrated over the tiniest setbacks. You hate the
world for all the misery it has brought upon you.Stop right now!That is not the way to go. You are attracting negative
elements into your life. Yes, you have to work harder,
dig deeper, and sacrifice more to attain your ambitions.
But no, you don't have to hate the world and feel bad
about your difficult situation. Remember the Law of
Attraction. If you hate the world, the world hates you
back.So what do you have to do?Learn to love your current situation. See all the
positive sides of life. Be enthusiastic. Love your
boss, your coworkers, your family, your friends, and
even strangers that you meet on the streets. It may
not be easy, but nothing is impossible with a strong
will power. Just don't fall in love so much that you
totally forget about your dreams.Balance is the key. Dream and take some positive
action to move you toward your goals. Take it one
step at a time. But while you're slowly crawling into
the long journey to success, be patient and be as
enthusiastic as possible. Don't hurry up too much that
you totally forget how to enjoy life.One fine day, you will finally attain what you have
always longed for. But when that day comes, don't
spit back on the face of those who belittled you
before.Stay humble. Don't look down on others when you see
that you are becoming more successful than they are.
Help them. Inject your positive aura into their
personalities. When you give, you will yield back
equal or greater rewards.Are you ready to begin the journey? Start it with
the courage and desire to improve your life. Survive
and go through it with persistence, enthusiasm, and
positive thinking. Finish it with a resounding bang
of accomplishment and with the desire to help others
succeed as well.Michael Lee is the author of "How To Be A Red Hot
Persuasion Wizard," an ebook that reveals powerful
secrets on how to easily make friends, fully improve
your relationships, multiply your profits, win
negotiations, and attain freedom and power. Visit
http://www.20daypersuasion.com to grab a sample chapter.
Keyword : achieve success, influence, social influence, goalsetting, dreams, imagination, relationships, image
วันอาทิตย์ที่ 17 กุมภาพันธ์ พ.ศ. 2551
Five Ways To Take A Vacation Without Taking A Vacation
Author : Helaine Iris
Last month Along The Purpose Path was about how to identify and stop the energy drains that leave you feeling exhausted and out of balance. I outlined how energy is one of your most valuable resources and invited you to start thinking about how to reserve more energy for yourself.Now, I'd like to offer a suggestion on how to actually build energy and begin to create energy reserves.One of my favorite ways to recharge my batteries is to take a vacation. Vacations traditionally are defined as a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation especially when there is suspension of school, or business activities. Vacations are usually, unfortunately associated with travel and a commitment of time and money, making them not easily achievable without a lot of planning.All a vacation is really is a break in your routine with the accompanying positive mental shift that helps you fully absorb and receive the benefits. The key to success is to be as present as possible and remind yourself to fully soak in what you need whether your vacation is for one hour or three weeks. Begin by making sure you clear your space and maximize your ability to receive.How can you receive the energy building benefit from a vacation without actually taking one? Can you achieve the desired result of rest, pleasure and relaxation within the day-to-day structure of life?Here are some delicious suggestions:1. Take a vacation from your thoughts. Your mind is a wonderful, essential part of life. Have you noticed how it likes to work on overtime? Perpetual thinking, worrying, and planning can be exhausting and often counter productive. Give yourself permission to take a vacation from thinking. Periodically, set aside some time to let it all go: perhaps, meditate. Put your thoughts on paper, they'll be there when you return to them. An added benefit is, by taking a step back, you'll gain fresh perspective and come back even stronger.2. Take a day off and plan your favorite activity. If planning a week or two of vacation time is not realistic, plan a day. Clear your schedule of everything and either plan to do nothing, (if that's heaven to you) or plan a day of "I've always wanted to…" and do it.3. Plan a special weekend. Be a tourist in your own town. Try new restaurants, explore neighborhoods, or attend a cultural event. One of the ruts it's easy to get into is "same old, same old". Challenge yourself to see your world through fresh eyes.4. Spa night. This is a personal favorite. It was a much-loved activity I shared with my daughter when she was little. Now that she's grown and creating her own rituals, it's a retreat I enjoy as solitary time. Lock yourself in the bathroom with all your favorite hair and body products and do it up. Light candles, play your favorite music, soak in the tub until you're wrinkled. Pamper yourself.5. Change it up. Here's where your creativity comes into play. The idea is to make your normal routines new. For example: sleep in a different room, take a break from TV and read engaging novels, (not self-help books). Create themes around mealtimes; bring Mexico or Italy into your kitchen. Spend a rainy Saturday watching old comedies. As Milton Berle said, "Laughter is an instant vacation".I'm off now to take a vacation from my own full life. Dinner with my husband in our favorite end –of-the-week Mexican restaurant, I'll wear my favorite jeans and imagine we're in Mexico…It's all in the attitude.It's YOUR life…live it completely!Helaine Iris is a certified Life Coach, writer and teacher who loves her life. She works with individuals, and self-employed professionals, who want to thrive in their business while crafting a life that's in absolute alignment with their highest ideals, deepest values and gracefully masters the complexities of modern living. For a solution focused, free initial consultation visit her website http://www.pathofpurpose.com or email her helaine@pathofpurpose.com
Keyword : Helaine Iris, coaching, coach, life coach, life purpose, inspiration, motivation, motivational, bett
Last month Along The Purpose Path was about how to identify and stop the energy drains that leave you feeling exhausted and out of balance. I outlined how energy is one of your most valuable resources and invited you to start thinking about how to reserve more energy for yourself.Now, I'd like to offer a suggestion on how to actually build energy and begin to create energy reserves.One of my favorite ways to recharge my batteries is to take a vacation. Vacations traditionally are defined as a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation especially when there is suspension of school, or business activities. Vacations are usually, unfortunately associated with travel and a commitment of time and money, making them not easily achievable without a lot of planning.All a vacation is really is a break in your routine with the accompanying positive mental shift that helps you fully absorb and receive the benefits. The key to success is to be as present as possible and remind yourself to fully soak in what you need whether your vacation is for one hour or three weeks. Begin by making sure you clear your space and maximize your ability to receive.How can you receive the energy building benefit from a vacation without actually taking one? Can you achieve the desired result of rest, pleasure and relaxation within the day-to-day structure of life?Here are some delicious suggestions:1. Take a vacation from your thoughts. Your mind is a wonderful, essential part of life. Have you noticed how it likes to work on overtime? Perpetual thinking, worrying, and planning can be exhausting and often counter productive. Give yourself permission to take a vacation from thinking. Periodically, set aside some time to let it all go: perhaps, meditate. Put your thoughts on paper, they'll be there when you return to them. An added benefit is, by taking a step back, you'll gain fresh perspective and come back even stronger.2. Take a day off and plan your favorite activity. If planning a week or two of vacation time is not realistic, plan a day. Clear your schedule of everything and either plan to do nothing, (if that's heaven to you) or plan a day of "I've always wanted to…" and do it.3. Plan a special weekend. Be a tourist in your own town. Try new restaurants, explore neighborhoods, or attend a cultural event. One of the ruts it's easy to get into is "same old, same old". Challenge yourself to see your world through fresh eyes.4. Spa night. This is a personal favorite. It was a much-loved activity I shared with my daughter when she was little. Now that she's grown and creating her own rituals, it's a retreat I enjoy as solitary time. Lock yourself in the bathroom with all your favorite hair and body products and do it up. Light candles, play your favorite music, soak in the tub until you're wrinkled. Pamper yourself.5. Change it up. Here's where your creativity comes into play. The idea is to make your normal routines new. For example: sleep in a different room, take a break from TV and read engaging novels, (not self-help books). Create themes around mealtimes; bring Mexico or Italy into your kitchen. Spend a rainy Saturday watching old comedies. As Milton Berle said, "Laughter is an instant vacation".I'm off now to take a vacation from my own full life. Dinner with my husband in our favorite end –of-the-week Mexican restaurant, I'll wear my favorite jeans and imagine we're in Mexico…It's all in the attitude.It's YOUR life…live it completely!Helaine Iris is a certified Life Coach, writer and teacher who loves her life. She works with individuals, and self-employed professionals, who want to thrive in their business while crafting a life that's in absolute alignment with their highest ideals, deepest values and gracefully masters the complexities of modern living. For a solution focused, free initial consultation visit her website http://www.pathofpurpose.com or email her helaine@pathofpurpose.com
Keyword : Helaine Iris, coaching, coach, life coach, life purpose, inspiration, motivation, motivational, bett
วันเสาร์ที่ 16 กุมภาพันธ์ พ.ศ. 2551
Staying Cool When the Job Heats Up
Author : Dale Collie
Jobs are heating up. We're all feeling the pinch
of hiring freezes and information overload.
Workplace stress is increasing right along with
the workload.Headaches are turning into migraines; back pains
are driving us to the chiropractor, and minor
irritations are causing tempers to flair.In addition to our personal reaction to stress, it
is taking its toll on the bottom line. Stress is
driving up the cost of health care, and we can see
a huge impact in things like tardiness,
absenteeism, personnel turnover, and accidents.
The annual price tag of stress in corporate
America is more than $150 billion.While forecasters tell us we can expect more of
the same, we need our jobs, and we need to find
ways to control the stressors that are
affecting our health and productivity.Here are 11 ways you can keep your cool and
minimize the impact of stress on your life.Do your own job - When poor the work habits of
others create stress, remember why you're there.
Pay attention to your own job. You will not be
rated on the performance of others, but the boss
will note the quality of your work. Stay focused
on the job you were hired for, and let management
deal with improving the department or the company.
Don't get stressed about things that are not your
responsibility.Organization - Regardless of company expectations,
you can alleviate a lot of your stress by
organizing your work space and getting a firm
grasp on the work that must be done. Even if you
have to pay for it yourself, get the tools needed
to organize your effort, e.g. files, furniture,
PDAs, software, and training. Work with your boss
to prioritize projects and routine tasks. Only
get concerned about unfinished work if the boss
gives it a priority. You'll never get everything
done, so pick the most important and file
everything else in an easy to reach file drawer.Communication - It's important to maintain your
supervisor's comfort level, so meet with them as
often as necessary to keep them informed of
projects and progress. Give them updates the way
they want them (email, memos, briefings, etc.),
and persist in getting the feedback that is so
important in reducing stress. Use this same
strategy with those who give you information or
products to do your job and those who depend on
what you give them. Good communication is
essential for good stress control.Interruptions - Avoid stressful interruptions by
controlling your schedule and your communications.
Establish times for meeting with those who want
information from you and hold them to it. The
more persistent you are, the more organized they
will be. Handle phone calls and respond to email
during specific times. Develop a list of people
and events that disrupt your job and work with
each until it is under control.Family Time - Family situations are among the
greatest stressors at work. There's an old axiom
that says, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody
happy." It's true. Avoid future problems by
prioritizing family time on your schedule and
stick to it. Get professional help if you're
unable to resolve sticky situations.Exercise - More than 80% of all doctor's visits
are stress related. Those who find time to
exercise reduce stress, strengthen their immune
system, and improve their well being. Do a little
research and talk with the experts to find out
what fits your needs. Make the exercise part of
your work schedule if possible; don't let it cut
into family time. Regular exercise can add years
to your own life and make you more productive for
your employer.Nutrition - Proper nutrition is a key to stress
control. The US Army recognizes proper nutrition
as a critical element in controlling stress among
combat soldiers, and you must admit, your job is
sometimes as stressful as combat. Use the
Internet or get information from Human Resources
to improve nutrition. You'll have to make some
deliberate changes because our eating habits are
affected by our culture, the expectations of
others, inadequate knowledge about what makes a
proper diet. Learn what is needed and make a
plan.Rest - Take charge of your sleep habits in the
same way you work on your eating habits. Sleep
deprivation is a major stressor by itself, and it
adds to the problem with other stressful events.
Cut out the late night television. Quit taking
work home from the office. Change the pattern of
your weekend parties. Get some new friends. Do
whatever is necessary to get back on track with
seven or eight hours sleep every night. Studies
show that twenty minute power naps make us more
productive, so use part of your lunch break for
nutrition and part for a short nap to control
stress. You'll get more done.Discussion - Tell people what's on your mind. If
you can't ignore someone's special talent for
bugging you, talk it over with them. There's a
good chance they are unaware of the offense, so
you don't need to get up tight about it. In a
friendly tone of voice, let them know what gets
under your skin and be ready to make some
concessions yourself. As you now know, their
irritating habit is probably magnified by other
stressors, so make sure you've done what you can
to control stress before challenging anyone.Education - The more educated you are about your
job, the less stressful it becomes. Even if
you've been on the job for years, there's always
more to learn about the upstream and downstream
impact of what you do. Stay up to date with trade
journals, books, and other research. Become the
expert at what you do and coach others. While
some companies do not pay for this type education,
your own investment will make you more valuable to
your company. What you know is portable - and it
looks good on a resume.Volunteer - Helping others has an immediate impact
on stress levels. Build in some family time by
volunteering as a family once a month. Build
rapport with supervisors and co-workers by
organizing a once-a-week lunchtime volunteer
program. Lead a food or clothing collection for
needy employees or families outside your company.
Create a support-the-troops letter writing
campaign so everyone in the company communicates
regularly with GI's away from home. In short,
doing something for someone else takes your mind
off the stressors that bother you most.Each of these stress relievers works independently
of the others. Find one that's practical for you
and put it to work. Friends, family, and
co-workers will all notice the changes in you and
thank you for making the effort.For a free article about the top ten workplace
stressors and how to tame them, send email to
TopTenStressors@CourageBuilders.com---Sidebar---11 Ways to Keep Your CoolDo your own jobGet OrganizedCommunicate with the boss and othersControl interruptionsSchedule Family TimeExerciseEat rightGet 8 hours sleep a nightLet others know what bugs youLearn new things about your jobVolunteer to help othersCopyright 2005 - Dale CollieDale Collie (collie@couragebuilders.com) speaker, author, and former US Army Ranger, CEO,and professor at West Point. Selected by "Fast Company" as one of America's Fast 50 innovative leaders. Author of "Frontline Leadership: From War Room to Boardroom," and "Winning Under Fire: Turn Stress into Success the US Army Way." (McGraw-Hil) F`r`e`e newsletter upon request: subscribe-956606571@ezinedirector.net
Keyword : stress,workplace,job,health,communication,organization,exercise,nutrition,family,rest,volunteer
Jobs are heating up. We're all feeling the pinch
of hiring freezes and information overload.
Workplace stress is increasing right along with
the workload.Headaches are turning into migraines; back pains
are driving us to the chiropractor, and minor
irritations are causing tempers to flair.In addition to our personal reaction to stress, it
is taking its toll on the bottom line. Stress is
driving up the cost of health care, and we can see
a huge impact in things like tardiness,
absenteeism, personnel turnover, and accidents.
The annual price tag of stress in corporate
America is more than $150 billion.While forecasters tell us we can expect more of
the same, we need our jobs, and we need to find
ways to control the stressors that are
affecting our health and productivity.Here are 11 ways you can keep your cool and
minimize the impact of stress on your life.Do your own job - When poor the work habits of
others create stress, remember why you're there.
Pay attention to your own job. You will not be
rated on the performance of others, but the boss
will note the quality of your work. Stay focused
on the job you were hired for, and let management
deal with improving the department or the company.
Don't get stressed about things that are not your
responsibility.Organization - Regardless of company expectations,
you can alleviate a lot of your stress by
organizing your work space and getting a firm
grasp on the work that must be done. Even if you
have to pay for it yourself, get the tools needed
to organize your effort, e.g. files, furniture,
PDAs, software, and training. Work with your boss
to prioritize projects and routine tasks. Only
get concerned about unfinished work if the boss
gives it a priority. You'll never get everything
done, so pick the most important and file
everything else in an easy to reach file drawer.Communication - It's important to maintain your
supervisor's comfort level, so meet with them as
often as necessary to keep them informed of
projects and progress. Give them updates the way
they want them (email, memos, briefings, etc.),
and persist in getting the feedback that is so
important in reducing stress. Use this same
strategy with those who give you information or
products to do your job and those who depend on
what you give them. Good communication is
essential for good stress control.Interruptions - Avoid stressful interruptions by
controlling your schedule and your communications.
Establish times for meeting with those who want
information from you and hold them to it. The
more persistent you are, the more organized they
will be. Handle phone calls and respond to email
during specific times. Develop a list of people
and events that disrupt your job and work with
each until it is under control.Family Time - Family situations are among the
greatest stressors at work. There's an old axiom
that says, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody
happy." It's true. Avoid future problems by
prioritizing family time on your schedule and
stick to it. Get professional help if you're
unable to resolve sticky situations.Exercise - More than 80% of all doctor's visits
are stress related. Those who find time to
exercise reduce stress, strengthen their immune
system, and improve their well being. Do a little
research and talk with the experts to find out
what fits your needs. Make the exercise part of
your work schedule if possible; don't let it cut
into family time. Regular exercise can add years
to your own life and make you more productive for
your employer.Nutrition - Proper nutrition is a key to stress
control. The US Army recognizes proper nutrition
as a critical element in controlling stress among
combat soldiers, and you must admit, your job is
sometimes as stressful as combat. Use the
Internet or get information from Human Resources
to improve nutrition. You'll have to make some
deliberate changes because our eating habits are
affected by our culture, the expectations of
others, inadequate knowledge about what makes a
proper diet. Learn what is needed and make a
plan.Rest - Take charge of your sleep habits in the
same way you work on your eating habits. Sleep
deprivation is a major stressor by itself, and it
adds to the problem with other stressful events.
Cut out the late night television. Quit taking
work home from the office. Change the pattern of
your weekend parties. Get some new friends. Do
whatever is necessary to get back on track with
seven or eight hours sleep every night. Studies
show that twenty minute power naps make us more
productive, so use part of your lunch break for
nutrition and part for a short nap to control
stress. You'll get more done.Discussion - Tell people what's on your mind. If
you can't ignore someone's special talent for
bugging you, talk it over with them. There's a
good chance they are unaware of the offense, so
you don't need to get up tight about it. In a
friendly tone of voice, let them know what gets
under your skin and be ready to make some
concessions yourself. As you now know, their
irritating habit is probably magnified by other
stressors, so make sure you've done what you can
to control stress before challenging anyone.Education - The more educated you are about your
job, the less stressful it becomes. Even if
you've been on the job for years, there's always
more to learn about the upstream and downstream
impact of what you do. Stay up to date with trade
journals, books, and other research. Become the
expert at what you do and coach others. While
some companies do not pay for this type education,
your own investment will make you more valuable to
your company. What you know is portable - and it
looks good on a resume.Volunteer - Helping others has an immediate impact
on stress levels. Build in some family time by
volunteering as a family once a month. Build
rapport with supervisors and co-workers by
organizing a once-a-week lunchtime volunteer
program. Lead a food or clothing collection for
needy employees or families outside your company.
Create a support-the-troops letter writing
campaign so everyone in the company communicates
regularly with GI's away from home. In short,
doing something for someone else takes your mind
off the stressors that bother you most.Each of these stress relievers works independently
of the others. Find one that's practical for you
and put it to work. Friends, family, and
co-workers will all notice the changes in you and
thank you for making the effort.For a free article about the top ten workplace
stressors and how to tame them, send email to
TopTenStressors@CourageBuilders.com---Sidebar---11 Ways to Keep Your CoolDo your own jobGet OrganizedCommunicate with the boss and othersControl interruptionsSchedule Family TimeExerciseEat rightGet 8 hours sleep a nightLet others know what bugs youLearn new things about your jobVolunteer to help othersCopyright 2005 - Dale CollieDale Collie (collie@couragebuilders.com) speaker, author, and former US Army Ranger, CEO,and professor at West Point. Selected by "Fast Company" as one of America's Fast 50 innovative leaders. Author of "Frontline Leadership: From War Room to Boardroom," and "Winning Under Fire: Turn Stress into Success the US Army Way." (McGraw-Hil) F`r`e`e newsletter upon request: subscribe-956606571@ezinedirector.net
Keyword : stress,workplace,job,health,communication,organization,exercise,nutrition,family,rest,volunteer
The Seven Deadly Roadblocks to Success
Author : Chris Widener
When traveling down the road it is always good to beware of roadblocks! You don't want to crash and burn do you? The same is true in our journey toward success. We need to beware of those things that will keep us from our destination!What are the most common? Here they are:1. Fear. Fear is one of the worst enemies of success. When fear wraps its tentacles
around you and keeps you in bondage, you will never be able to reach for your dreams. We must confront our fears, see them for what they are, toss them to the side, and pursue our dreams with relentless passion. Conquering fear and stepping forward to reach new lands and new ideas is what makes success possible. What are you afraid of today? What fear must you conquer to be able to achieve your dream? When you realize what it is, take an action that is diametrically opposed to that which you fear. This will confront and conquer the fear by giving you the first step in the right direction.2. Lethargy. Quite frankly, what keeps most people from success is that they simply don't have the energy, or make the energy, to do what it takes to move to the next level. They get to a point that is comfortable and then they settle in for a nice, life-long nap! Don't get lethargic; get going! Force yourself to wake up from the slumber and move!3. Lack of perseverance. Often times the race is lost because the race is not finished. Success is often just around the sharpest corner or the steepest hill. Persevere. Keep going. One more hill. One more corner! In real estate they say the three most important things are "location, location, location." In success the three most important things are "perseverance, perseverance, perseverance."4. Pessimism. The saying is that you can achieve what you believe. Ask yourself what kinds of beliefs you hold. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? If you don't believe that you can achieve than you won't. Your pessimism will prove yourself right every time. You will find that you subconsciously undermine yourself. Develop your optimism. Look for ways to believe that you can achieve success.5. Not taking responsibility. I am the chaplain for the local police department. The other day I went with an officer as he took two prisoners to court. Time after time the prisoners made excuses as to why they hadn't yet done what the judge had ordered (she didn't buy it, by the way). After dropping the prisoners off, I said to the officer that unsuccessful people and prisoners have the same bad habit - they won't accept responsibility for their lives. You are responsible. When you accept that, you are on the road to success.6. Picking the wrong people to hang out with. We can easily become products of our environment. This is why it is essential to hang around people who will spur you on not hold you back! What about the people you have surrounded yourself with? Are they quality people who will encourage you and strengthen you in your quest for success? If not, move on!7. No vision. Those who succeed always see their success months and years before they live it. They have the ability to look ahead, see the future, imagine the good that can and will come from their lives, families and work. To not have vision is a tremendous roadblock. Sit down and work on seeing the future - and make it good!About The Author:Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President of
Made for Success, a company helping individuals and organizations turn
their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and
achieve their dreams.To see Chris "live" at the upcoming Jim Rohn Weekend Event as he speaks on
the subject of Secrets of Influence go to
http://Chris-Widener.InspiresYOU.com/ or call 800-929-0434.
Keyword : success,successful people,successful skills,achievements,goals,fulfillment,roadblocks to success
When traveling down the road it is always good to beware of roadblocks! You don't want to crash and burn do you? The same is true in our journey toward success. We need to beware of those things that will keep us from our destination!What are the most common? Here they are:1. Fear. Fear is one of the worst enemies of success. When fear wraps its tentacles
around you and keeps you in bondage, you will never be able to reach for your dreams. We must confront our fears, see them for what they are, toss them to the side, and pursue our dreams with relentless passion. Conquering fear and stepping forward to reach new lands and new ideas is what makes success possible. What are you afraid of today? What fear must you conquer to be able to achieve your dream? When you realize what it is, take an action that is diametrically opposed to that which you fear. This will confront and conquer the fear by giving you the first step in the right direction.2. Lethargy. Quite frankly, what keeps most people from success is that they simply don't have the energy, or make the energy, to do what it takes to move to the next level. They get to a point that is comfortable and then they settle in for a nice, life-long nap! Don't get lethargic; get going! Force yourself to wake up from the slumber and move!3. Lack of perseverance. Often times the race is lost because the race is not finished. Success is often just around the sharpest corner or the steepest hill. Persevere. Keep going. One more hill. One more corner! In real estate they say the three most important things are "location, location, location." In success the three most important things are "perseverance, perseverance, perseverance."4. Pessimism. The saying is that you can achieve what you believe. Ask yourself what kinds of beliefs you hold. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? If you don't believe that you can achieve than you won't. Your pessimism will prove yourself right every time. You will find that you subconsciously undermine yourself. Develop your optimism. Look for ways to believe that you can achieve success.5. Not taking responsibility. I am the chaplain for the local police department. The other day I went with an officer as he took two prisoners to court. Time after time the prisoners made excuses as to why they hadn't yet done what the judge had ordered (she didn't buy it, by the way). After dropping the prisoners off, I said to the officer that unsuccessful people and prisoners have the same bad habit - they won't accept responsibility for their lives. You are responsible. When you accept that, you are on the road to success.6. Picking the wrong people to hang out with. We can easily become products of our environment. This is why it is essential to hang around people who will spur you on not hold you back! What about the people you have surrounded yourself with? Are they quality people who will encourage you and strengthen you in your quest for success? If not, move on!7. No vision. Those who succeed always see their success months and years before they live it. They have the ability to look ahead, see the future, imagine the good that can and will come from their lives, families and work. To not have vision is a tremendous roadblock. Sit down and work on seeing the future - and make it good!About The Author:Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President of
Made for Success, a company helping individuals and organizations turn
their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and
achieve their dreams.To see Chris "live" at the upcoming Jim Rohn Weekend Event as he speaks on
the subject of Secrets of Influence go to
http://Chris-Widener.InspiresYOU.com/ or call 800-929-0434.
Keyword : success,successful people,successful skills,achievements,goals,fulfillment,roadblocks to success
IF and WHEN
Author : Catherine Pulsifer
IF and WHEN were friends. Every week they met and had lunch. Their conversation usually centered on all the things they were going to achieve. They both had many dreams and they loved to talk about them.This particular Saturday when they met, WHEN sensed that IF was not in a great mood. As usual they sat at the table reserved for them and ordered their lunch. Once they placed their order, WHEN questioned IF. "IF what is wrong with you? You don't seem your usual cheery self?"IF looked at WHEN and replied, "I'm not sure, I just don't feel like I am making any progress. This last week I saw a course I wanted to take if only I had the time to take it."WHEN knew exactly how IF felt. "Yeah," replied WHEN, "I too saw a course and I am going to register when I get enough money together." WHEN then said, "well what about that new job you were going to apply for. You were so excited about it last week, did you apply?"IF responded, "If my computer didn't break down last week, I would have applied. But, my computer is not working, so I could not type my resume.""Don't worry about it IF, when you are ready another job will come through. I have been thinking about looking for another job also, but I will wait and when the weather gets nicer I will look then." WHEN then went on to tell IF about his week, hoping that it would cheer him up a bit.The man at the next table couldn't help overhear WHEN and IF. They both were talking about when this and if that, finally he couldn't take it anymore. "Excuse me gentlemen," the man said. IF and WHEN both looked at the man and wondered what he wanted. The man continued, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help hearing your conversation. I think I know how you could solve your problems."IF smiled and thought, how could a complete stranger know how to solve all of their problems. If only he knew. When he realized the challenges they faced there was no way he could solve their problems! Curious, IF asked the gentleman, "How do you think you can solve our problems?"The gentleman smiled and said, "You only need listen to yourselves. It reminds me of an old proverb:'If and When were planted, and Nothing grew'."IF and WHEN looked puzzled. The gentleman smiled and said, "Start counting how many times you use the words 'if' and 'when'. Rather than thinking 'if and when', start doing, take action, stop talking about 'if and when'."IF and WHEN both looked surprised, and suddenly realized that what the gentleman had said was so true. Both of them were guilty of thinking, acting and living their life for the "ifs and whens". The gentleman left and IF and WHEN's conversation changed. They made a pact that when they met for lunch next week, there would be no "ifs and whens"; they would only talk about what they accomplished!ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Catherine Pulsifer is one of the editors of Words of Wisdom 4 U, http://www.wow4u.com. You will find a collection of motivational thoughts, stories, quotes, poems, smiles, proverbs, and more at Words of Wisdom 4 U!
Keyword : if,when,action,talking,problems,dreams,achieve
IF and WHEN were friends. Every week they met and had lunch. Their conversation usually centered on all the things they were going to achieve. They both had many dreams and they loved to talk about them.This particular Saturday when they met, WHEN sensed that IF was not in a great mood. As usual they sat at the table reserved for them and ordered their lunch. Once they placed their order, WHEN questioned IF. "IF what is wrong with you? You don't seem your usual cheery self?"IF looked at WHEN and replied, "I'm not sure, I just don't feel like I am making any progress. This last week I saw a course I wanted to take if only I had the time to take it."WHEN knew exactly how IF felt. "Yeah," replied WHEN, "I too saw a course and I am going to register when I get enough money together." WHEN then said, "well what about that new job you were going to apply for. You were so excited about it last week, did you apply?"IF responded, "If my computer didn't break down last week, I would have applied. But, my computer is not working, so I could not type my resume.""Don't worry about it IF, when you are ready another job will come through. I have been thinking about looking for another job also, but I will wait and when the weather gets nicer I will look then." WHEN then went on to tell IF about his week, hoping that it would cheer him up a bit.The man at the next table couldn't help overhear WHEN and IF. They both were talking about when this and if that, finally he couldn't take it anymore. "Excuse me gentlemen," the man said. IF and WHEN both looked at the man and wondered what he wanted. The man continued, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help hearing your conversation. I think I know how you could solve your problems."IF smiled and thought, how could a complete stranger know how to solve all of their problems. If only he knew. When he realized the challenges they faced there was no way he could solve their problems! Curious, IF asked the gentleman, "How do you think you can solve our problems?"The gentleman smiled and said, "You only need listen to yourselves. It reminds me of an old proverb:'If and When were planted, and Nothing grew'."IF and WHEN looked puzzled. The gentleman smiled and said, "Start counting how many times you use the words 'if' and 'when'. Rather than thinking 'if and when', start doing, take action, stop talking about 'if and when'."IF and WHEN both looked surprised, and suddenly realized that what the gentleman had said was so true. Both of them were guilty of thinking, acting and living their life for the "ifs and whens". The gentleman left and IF and WHEN's conversation changed. They made a pact that when they met for lunch next week, there would be no "ifs and whens"; they would only talk about what they accomplished!ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Catherine Pulsifer is one of the editors of Words of Wisdom 4 U, http://www.wow4u.com. You will find a collection of motivational thoughts, stories, quotes, poems, smiles, proverbs, and more at Words of Wisdom 4 U!
Keyword : if,when,action,talking,problems,dreams,achieve
Moving Beyond Self-Sabotage
Author : Alicia Smith
Self-sabotage is one key factor that keeps our business from moving forward. We can sabotage ourselves in a variety of ways. There are many ways we can prevent ourselves from enjoying the success we desire. To ensure that our businesses grow and prosper, it is vital that we learn how to push through unproductive attitudes. Here are some tips to help you move beyond self-sabotage.1. Get into action. One of the best ways to overcome self-sabotage is to get into action and do something. In the case of your marketing, put yourself out there. Show the world who you are through your website, business cards, brochures, or through giving a speech. Do something now. Do anything -- now. It's the best deterrent to pushing through self-sabotage.2. Network. Get out and meet others. By mingling with others, finding out about their needs while sharing about yourself and your business, you'll feel more alive and energized. You'll not only have the chance to meet new people, but you might also create some opportunities that might propel your business to a new level.3. Be intentional. A great way to get you going is to do everything with intention. Living with intention is all about being conscious about how and why you are doing something. Make a plan to meet one new person for lunch each week. Consciously cultivate referrals by setting aside two hours per month to call up friends, family and business acquaintances to share what's new with your business. Don't just make lists of things to do. Every marketing effort should be intentional – well planned and carried out.4. Create a support system. Find others who will support you in the things that you are doing with your business. You might consider asking friends, colleagues, or even family members to give their approval on some of the projects that you are working on. While you might not think that something is perfect enough, the people on your support team can provide you with much a much less biased opinion. A support team can help you move to another step if you get stuck. Consult with others – sometimes that is all you need to prevent yourself from going down an unproductive path.5. Craft a vision for your business. Having a clear vision of your business purpose and mission can be critical to your business success. A vision, designed exclusively by you, provides a roadmap to help you move from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow. When you don't have a clear vision about why you are in business and what purpose you are serving, it's easy to go in the wrong direction. Craft a written vision of your business. It will help you stay focused and on track. Don't become disappointed and dispassionate because you haven't invested the time to map out your roadmap to success. Do it now.6. Develop goals and objectives. Sometimes it's hard to get things done when we haven't formalized our objectives and goals. When we don't have a plan to work from, it's easy to stray down unproductive avenues, or even worse, we may end up abandoning or not starting projects in the first place. As a business owner it's vital that everything you intend to do be committed to writing. Not only will it make it easier to plan individual action steps to accomplish your goals, it will also give you a roadmap to stay on course when are getting distracted or losing motivation. Goals and objectives are a key ingredient to prevent self-sabotaging behavior.7. Marketing plans are important. Just as important as crafting a vision and supporting goals for your business, it's vital that you commit a marketing plan to paper. It doesn't need to be elaborate (one page will do) but it does need to outline certain information. A marketing plan, like a business plan, will help keep you on course. When the days get long and your motivation is running low, a written marketing plan can keep you focused on the most important tasks that you need to do. When you're too tired to think about what to do next, instead of engaging in unproductive activities, you can consult your written plan for direction.8. Just decide. Stop unproductive, self-sabotaging behavior in its tracks, by deciding that now is the time for you to be successful in your business. Adopt an "I can make it happen" attitude. It's amazing how things begin to shift when we change our perspective.9. Think long term. Create an action strategy for yourself that you can do for a period of 3 -, 6-, 12-months or more. Starting and running a viable business demands a long-term commitment and attitude. Design your daily business routines as well as different projects or other marketing ideas from the standpoint that you are "in this" for the long haul. A long-term action strategy is key to preventing you from hampering your progress.10. Celebrate you. Recognize that you are unique. There is no one else like you – there never has been and there never will be. Think about the gifts you were born with. What talents do you have that you can share with customers or clients? What special expertise or unique way of doing things sets you apart from everyone else who might have a similar business? Celebrate your uniqueness.11. Personal value. One excellent way to prevent self-sabotage is to really honor who you are. Think about the value that you add to other peoples' lives, not only personally, but through the products and services of your business. When you start thinking of yourself as valuable to others and to yourself, you won't even think about trying to put walls between you and your progress. You know that you have a responsibility to step up and show others who you really are.12. Change your attitude. We all know that thoughts influence how we feel. So if you don't like the way things are going in your business, change your attitude. It's been said that when all you have is a hammer, then everything begins to look like a nail. Shift your thinking and you'll change everything around you – from how you feel about your latest marketing efforts, to how you come across on the phone the next time you're speaking to a client.13. Reframe failure. Redefine how you look at failure. Failure is a natural part of life and it will inevitably impact your business. Failure is not the end of anything, nor does it mean that you are incompetent. Failure is a teacher that can help you to innovate in your business. It provides you with valuable information that you're doing something or going in a direction that isn't providing the results that you want. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you can re-orient yourself in another direction that can lead to success.14. Get more knowledge. Sometimes we sabotage our business efforts because we just don't know what we need to know. Lack of knowledge is a common excuse for creating obstructions along our road to success. If you need more knowledge, take classes, read books, or talk to others who have faced similar issues. You can also consider hiring a consultant, coach or specialist who can educate you in the areas you are lacking, or help you solve the issues directly.15. Welcome success. Business owners fear failure, but they also fear success. The fear of success underlies many sabotaging behaviors because of the accompanying feelings of not feeling good enough to deserve it. Adopt an attitude that you deserve the fruits of your labor, just as much as anyone else does. Changing your thoughts around success and knowing that it is your right to have might be the only thing standing in the way of great opportunities. Take a chance and welcome success with open arms.© Copyright 2004 by Alicia SmithAlicia Smith, a Coach and Trainer whose specialty is helping people Make Money Now. This article is derived from just one of the 26 lessons contained in her audio program, Marketing Marathon Blunders From A – Z. To learn more about that course and her other products and services, please visit http://www.90DayMarketingMarathon.com or http://www.AliciaSmith.com.
Self-sabotage is one key factor that keeps our business from moving forward. We can sabotage ourselves in a variety of ways. There are many ways we can prevent ourselves from enjoying the success we desire. To ensure that our businesses grow and prosper, it is vital that we learn how to push through unproductive attitudes. Here are some tips to help you move beyond self-sabotage.1. Get into action. One of the best ways to overcome self-sabotage is to get into action and do something. In the case of your marketing, put yourself out there. Show the world who you are through your website, business cards, brochures, or through giving a speech. Do something now. Do anything -- now. It's the best deterrent to pushing through self-sabotage.2. Network. Get out and meet others. By mingling with others, finding out about their needs while sharing about yourself and your business, you'll feel more alive and energized. You'll not only have the chance to meet new people, but you might also create some opportunities that might propel your business to a new level.3. Be intentional. A great way to get you going is to do everything with intention. Living with intention is all about being conscious about how and why you are doing something. Make a plan to meet one new person for lunch each week. Consciously cultivate referrals by setting aside two hours per month to call up friends, family and business acquaintances to share what's new with your business. Don't just make lists of things to do. Every marketing effort should be intentional – well planned and carried out.4. Create a support system. Find others who will support you in the things that you are doing with your business. You might consider asking friends, colleagues, or even family members to give their approval on some of the projects that you are working on. While you might not think that something is perfect enough, the people on your support team can provide you with much a much less biased opinion. A support team can help you move to another step if you get stuck. Consult with others – sometimes that is all you need to prevent yourself from going down an unproductive path.5. Craft a vision for your business. Having a clear vision of your business purpose and mission can be critical to your business success. A vision, designed exclusively by you, provides a roadmap to help you move from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow. When you don't have a clear vision about why you are in business and what purpose you are serving, it's easy to go in the wrong direction. Craft a written vision of your business. It will help you stay focused and on track. Don't become disappointed and dispassionate because you haven't invested the time to map out your roadmap to success. Do it now.6. Develop goals and objectives. Sometimes it's hard to get things done when we haven't formalized our objectives and goals. When we don't have a plan to work from, it's easy to stray down unproductive avenues, or even worse, we may end up abandoning or not starting projects in the first place. As a business owner it's vital that everything you intend to do be committed to writing. Not only will it make it easier to plan individual action steps to accomplish your goals, it will also give you a roadmap to stay on course when are getting distracted or losing motivation. Goals and objectives are a key ingredient to prevent self-sabotaging behavior.7. Marketing plans are important. Just as important as crafting a vision and supporting goals for your business, it's vital that you commit a marketing plan to paper. It doesn't need to be elaborate (one page will do) but it does need to outline certain information. A marketing plan, like a business plan, will help keep you on course. When the days get long and your motivation is running low, a written marketing plan can keep you focused on the most important tasks that you need to do. When you're too tired to think about what to do next, instead of engaging in unproductive activities, you can consult your written plan for direction.8. Just decide. Stop unproductive, self-sabotaging behavior in its tracks, by deciding that now is the time for you to be successful in your business. Adopt an "I can make it happen" attitude. It's amazing how things begin to shift when we change our perspective.9. Think long term. Create an action strategy for yourself that you can do for a period of 3 -, 6-, 12-months or more. Starting and running a viable business demands a long-term commitment and attitude. Design your daily business routines as well as different projects or other marketing ideas from the standpoint that you are "in this" for the long haul. A long-term action strategy is key to preventing you from hampering your progress.10. Celebrate you. Recognize that you are unique. There is no one else like you – there never has been and there never will be. Think about the gifts you were born with. What talents do you have that you can share with customers or clients? What special expertise or unique way of doing things sets you apart from everyone else who might have a similar business? Celebrate your uniqueness.11. Personal value. One excellent way to prevent self-sabotage is to really honor who you are. Think about the value that you add to other peoples' lives, not only personally, but through the products and services of your business. When you start thinking of yourself as valuable to others and to yourself, you won't even think about trying to put walls between you and your progress. You know that you have a responsibility to step up and show others who you really are.12. Change your attitude. We all know that thoughts influence how we feel. So if you don't like the way things are going in your business, change your attitude. It's been said that when all you have is a hammer, then everything begins to look like a nail. Shift your thinking and you'll change everything around you – from how you feel about your latest marketing efforts, to how you come across on the phone the next time you're speaking to a client.13. Reframe failure. Redefine how you look at failure. Failure is a natural part of life and it will inevitably impact your business. Failure is not the end of anything, nor does it mean that you are incompetent. Failure is a teacher that can help you to innovate in your business. It provides you with valuable information that you're doing something or going in a direction that isn't providing the results that you want. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you can re-orient yourself in another direction that can lead to success.14. Get more knowledge. Sometimes we sabotage our business efforts because we just don't know what we need to know. Lack of knowledge is a common excuse for creating obstructions along our road to success. If you need more knowledge, take classes, read books, or talk to others who have faced similar issues. You can also consider hiring a consultant, coach or specialist who can educate you in the areas you are lacking, or help you solve the issues directly.15. Welcome success. Business owners fear failure, but they also fear success. The fear of success underlies many sabotaging behaviors because of the accompanying feelings of not feeling good enough to deserve it. Adopt an attitude that you deserve the fruits of your labor, just as much as anyone else does. Changing your thoughts around success and knowing that it is your right to have might be the only thing standing in the way of great opportunities. Take a chance and welcome success with open arms.© Copyright 2004 by Alicia SmithAlicia Smith, a Coach and Trainer whose specialty is helping people Make Money Now. This article is derived from just one of the 26 lessons contained in her audio program, Marketing Marathon Blunders From A – Z. To learn more about that course and her other products and services, please visit http://www.90DayMarketingMarathon.com or http://www.AliciaSmith.com.
You can also email her at alicia@aliciasmith.com
Keyword : marketing, business, management, self-sabotage, attitude, network, vision, goals, success
Gracefully Accepting Feedback a Key Employment Skill
Author : Jan B. King
With the long-term trend of protecting employees' individual self esteem added to an overriding concern over expensive employee lawsuits, accountability is more a buzzword than a way of life at most companies.This is a state of mind that has existed since the 1960s, so the average employee has never received real quality negative feedback -- the kind of feedback that might help startle him or her out of career-dashing behavior and toward a more lucrative and successful work life.Smart employers realize that people are their only sustainable competitive advantage. Companies hiring this year will be looking for people who are highly capable in their fields of expertise and who energize the other people with whom they work. This will hold true for traditional employees as well as independent contractors who will continue to make up a larger and larger part of the workforce.Don't wait for this new world of employment, prepare yourself now to get the feedback from others that will help you develop into the powerful person you can be. First, begin to change the way you feel about receiving feedback. Listen to the messages you get from those close to you: your spouse, children, close friends, other family members. Write them down and consider them as food for thought. Begin to analyze common pieces of feedback objectively and develop ideas about what you might do if you wanted to change their perceptions.A key factor to remember about all feedback: it is one opinion coming from another individual's unique perspective. It is up to you to consider it thoughtfully, compare it to other feedback you have received and do something positive with it. It is impossible for us to see ourselves as others see us, but very important that we don't allow these blind spots to jeopardize wonderful opportunities.Here's a system for taking in feedback for maximum benefit:When receiving any feedback, listen without comment, looking directly at the person. When they have finished, don't make any statements, but do ask questions if you want clarification. Don't accept, don't deny and don't rationalize. Because we are rarely taught to give feedback well, you will often get feedback when the giver is angry about something in the moment. Quality feedback may be emotional when it touches a heartfelt issue, but it is not abusive. If a co-worker's critique gets to this point you should ask to stop the discussion and have it at another time when cooler heads prevail.Recognize the courage it took to give you the feedback and consider it a sincere gift intended to help you grow. Thank the giver for feedback - make it short, but something you can say sincerely, such as "You've really given me something to think about, thanks." It is hard to feel real appreciation when you hear negative messages about your behavior, so it is important to have simple words of gratitude prepared ahead of time.Immediately write down all you can remember of the feedback, recording as many words used by the giver as possible. Allow yourself at least 2 days to process the information, taking no action to change your perceived behavior. Watch what you do and how other react to it. After a few days, go back and look at your original notes. Take out the emotion-packed words and look for the basic message.Know that feedback can be tough to receive, even if we solicit it and are grateful for it. Although it is simply another's perception, it can shake up your feelings about yourself. Plan to do something nice for yourself when you know you are facing tough feedback. Try to do something that bolsters self-esteem - dinner with friends, or engage in an activity that you are particularly good at.Discuss the feedback with friends or others whose opinions you respect, but ask them not to react to the message. Tell them you are only looking for sympathy for the difficulty of going through a rigorous self-development process, but that you don't want them to agree or disagree with the feedback. It would be normal to want to invalidate negative feedback, and to get others to help you, but you will lose what may be a critical grain of truth if you do.Use feedback in a positive way as soon as practical, not with the giver, but with others. Over time you may even want to tell others to lightly remind you if you slip back to old ways. "Jack, I don't want to bug you, but you asked me to remind you if you started to get behind on those reports."You are ready to receive feedback when you:Want to know yourself as others see you and you are clear that this is their perception, not necessarily what is true about you inside.Trust your co-workers to care enough about your development to risk giving their opinion.Have a place outside work you can talk it through.Have opportunities for additional feedback so you get validation of the changes you have made.Things you can do now to get more feedback at work:Find out if your employer has a 360 degree review program or is willing to allow you to work with your human resources department to develop a feedback program tailored to you.Look back at old performance reviews and see if there are common comments you can use.Consider hiring a personal development coach to give you alternative methods of getting feedback, such as personality testing.Decide to use the feedback to get a promotion or change career direction so that you have a reason to get involved in the process.As you get to know yourself better, feedback will become less painful. You learn how to put it into a larger perspective and how to allow it to help you achieve your dreams.About The AuthorJan B. King is the former President & CEO of Merritt Publishing, a top 50 woman-owned and run business in Los Angeles and the author of Business Plans to Game Plans: A Practical System for Turning Strategies into Action (John Wiley & Sons, 2004). She has helped hundreds of businesses with her book and her ebooks, The Do-It-Yourself Business Plan Workbook, and The Do-It-Yourself Game Plan Workbook. See www.janbking.com for more information.jan@janbking.com
Keyword : self improvement,feedback,criticism,careers,coaching
With the long-term trend of protecting employees' individual self esteem added to an overriding concern over expensive employee lawsuits, accountability is more a buzzword than a way of life at most companies.This is a state of mind that has existed since the 1960s, so the average employee has never received real quality negative feedback -- the kind of feedback that might help startle him or her out of career-dashing behavior and toward a more lucrative and successful work life.Smart employers realize that people are their only sustainable competitive advantage. Companies hiring this year will be looking for people who are highly capable in their fields of expertise and who energize the other people with whom they work. This will hold true for traditional employees as well as independent contractors who will continue to make up a larger and larger part of the workforce.Don't wait for this new world of employment, prepare yourself now to get the feedback from others that will help you develop into the powerful person you can be. First, begin to change the way you feel about receiving feedback. Listen to the messages you get from those close to you: your spouse, children, close friends, other family members. Write them down and consider them as food for thought. Begin to analyze common pieces of feedback objectively and develop ideas about what you might do if you wanted to change their perceptions.A key factor to remember about all feedback: it is one opinion coming from another individual's unique perspective. It is up to you to consider it thoughtfully, compare it to other feedback you have received and do something positive with it. It is impossible for us to see ourselves as others see us, but very important that we don't allow these blind spots to jeopardize wonderful opportunities.Here's a system for taking in feedback for maximum benefit:When receiving any feedback, listen without comment, looking directly at the person. When they have finished, don't make any statements, but do ask questions if you want clarification. Don't accept, don't deny and don't rationalize. Because we are rarely taught to give feedback well, you will often get feedback when the giver is angry about something in the moment. Quality feedback may be emotional when it touches a heartfelt issue, but it is not abusive. If a co-worker's critique gets to this point you should ask to stop the discussion and have it at another time when cooler heads prevail.Recognize the courage it took to give you the feedback and consider it a sincere gift intended to help you grow. Thank the giver for feedback - make it short, but something you can say sincerely, such as "You've really given me something to think about, thanks." It is hard to feel real appreciation when you hear negative messages about your behavior, so it is important to have simple words of gratitude prepared ahead of time.Immediately write down all you can remember of the feedback, recording as many words used by the giver as possible. Allow yourself at least 2 days to process the information, taking no action to change your perceived behavior. Watch what you do and how other react to it. After a few days, go back and look at your original notes. Take out the emotion-packed words and look for the basic message.Know that feedback can be tough to receive, even if we solicit it and are grateful for it. Although it is simply another's perception, it can shake up your feelings about yourself. Plan to do something nice for yourself when you know you are facing tough feedback. Try to do something that bolsters self-esteem - dinner with friends, or engage in an activity that you are particularly good at.Discuss the feedback with friends or others whose opinions you respect, but ask them not to react to the message. Tell them you are only looking for sympathy for the difficulty of going through a rigorous self-development process, but that you don't want them to agree or disagree with the feedback. It would be normal to want to invalidate negative feedback, and to get others to help you, but you will lose what may be a critical grain of truth if you do.Use feedback in a positive way as soon as practical, not with the giver, but with others. Over time you may even want to tell others to lightly remind you if you slip back to old ways. "Jack, I don't want to bug you, but you asked me to remind you if you started to get behind on those reports."You are ready to receive feedback when you:Want to know yourself as others see you and you are clear that this is their perception, not necessarily what is true about you inside.Trust your co-workers to care enough about your development to risk giving their opinion.Have a place outside work you can talk it through.Have opportunities for additional feedback so you get validation of the changes you have made.Things you can do now to get more feedback at work:Find out if your employer has a 360 degree review program or is willing to allow you to work with your human resources department to develop a feedback program tailored to you.Look back at old performance reviews and see if there are common comments you can use.Consider hiring a personal development coach to give you alternative methods of getting feedback, such as personality testing.Decide to use the feedback to get a promotion or change career direction so that you have a reason to get involved in the process.As you get to know yourself better, feedback will become less painful. You learn how to put it into a larger perspective and how to allow it to help you achieve your dreams.About The AuthorJan B. King is the former President & CEO of Merritt Publishing, a top 50 woman-owned and run business in Los Angeles and the author of Business Plans to Game Plans: A Practical System for Turning Strategies into Action (John Wiley & Sons, 2004). She has helped hundreds of businesses with her book and her ebooks, The Do-It-Yourself Business Plan Workbook, and The Do-It-Yourself Game Plan Workbook. See www.janbking.com for more information.jan@janbking.com
Keyword : self improvement,feedback,criticism,careers,coaching
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